Lip Piercing - arguments welcome

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Lip Piercing - arguments welcome
15
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:42pm

Well, dd14 has now began her campaign for a lip piercing - every once in a while she takes up the cause again. She seems to have given up on the naval piercing (which I had reasonably agreed to let her do when she's 16). She now says if I let her pierce her lip she won't pierce her naval. Obviously this is attractive to me, b/c IMO the naval piercing is of a more "sexual" nature for whatever it is worth. The way that thong underwear screams sex...you get the drift. But something about the lip piercing screams "thug" and "hard chick" to me...LOL. I realize I'm old and have outdated notions about these things, but still. She's starting high school this fall. Whether we like it or not, the world labels and judges and I don't want her labeled that way.

Anyway, this is what I hate about teens. I need to come up with a good solid argument against this to preserve some modicum of "peace" with her. Help me out here. And "just because I hate it" is not helpful (that's all I've got so far.)

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Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:48pm
My DD wanted a pierced nose, pierced lip and pierced navel. I agreed to the navel because I DO think it looks pretty... like wearing jewelry; so she and I went together shortly after her 16th birthday and BOTH had it done. I don't know what your state is like be in WI you must be 18 for a piercing or you can be 16 if you have a parent's signed approval. Whenever she brings up the lip, I just give a very quick "No"... of course she asks why and I just say "because it's ugly." She usually drops it; I don't think she wants to risk looking "ugly." I was going to agree to the nose, but she dropped it because too many people in her school were doing it. Next I'll surely hear about the eyebrow or tongue, which... maybe I could live with the tongue because you can't see it right away.
Deb
Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:51pm

Oh gosh mom_dragonfly! I absolutely HATE lip piercings! Me? I'd give into the belly button over the lip in a heartbeat. Even half-a-heartbeat.

I can't think of any other reason aside from the "I hate it" reasoning. Just as there is risk of infection, etc., with any piercing, it seems to me that it would be more so around the mouth because of bacteria from saliva, food, etc. How can you kiss someone with a hunk of metal in your lip? Obviously, I've never done it, or I'd know - LOL.

You have my deepest sympathy on this one. Sorry I'm not more help.

Julie

 

 

 

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:12pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:48pm

You bring up a good point. It may be that this is part of her overall strategy to have me give in to the naval piercing way ahead of schedule....hmmmm...something to think about. I guess I would prefer the naval to the lip, b/c I had added the caveat that the naval couldn't show when she was at school (or at church, or family functions for instance). I think the real reason that the naval bothers me is b/c H. has one and she shows it off all the time with her jewelry, etc. and it looks so cheap on her I can't begin to tell you. I'm sure it doesn't look that way on every girl, though.

btw, I took H. to church with us this past Sunday (she spent the night at our house). I held my breath for what she would wear to church the next a.m. - feeling that I shouldn't demand she change (and honestly I don't think she owns 'okay' clothing). Of course she dressed completely inappropriately - I was proud of myself for not saying a word, and what's more I'm proud of my church fellowship b/c I did not see one person look at her with judgment or condemnation which is more than I can say for alot of churches.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:53pm
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:59pm

It's a fairly personal decision between you and your dd, but here's how it went down in my house...

18dd wanted her nose pierced for the longest time when she was about 14. I conceded to the nose piercing on the one condition that it only hold a stud for as long as she lives in my home, and as long as I am supporting her. After she is self sufficient, she can put a hoop in it, but not one minute sooner. She agreed, I let her get the nose piercing for her 15th birthday. She has 3/4 piercings on each ear as well, but she only (thankfully) likes studs or teeny hoops in them as well. She once mused aloud something about getting her brow pierced and I told her she wasn't allowed to as long as she lives in my house - I find them to be hideous and wouldn't be able to look at her across the dinner table every night! Ick. Ironically, the job she has now doesn't allow facial piercings, so she has to take out her nose stud and sometimes she forgets; maybe the hole will close.

16dd wanted the lip piercing when she was 14...ugh is all I can say. I find lip piercings to be so hideously gross and I automatically just think, "Dirty & Infectious" whenever I see one, especially when it's worn by a grocery clerk slicing my deli meat...that's just plain old gross. So, I made a similar deal with this dd. As long as she is living in my house and I am supporting her she cannot get a lip or brow piercing. However, she can get her nose pierced or her navel. She chose her navel for her 15th birthday and really, after about a month, you don't even notice it anymore. It's hardly ever really showing and unless your dd is provocative in her demeanor, it's just another piece of jewelry. I told my dd that she has to realize that some people get the wrong impression about navel piercings and that I didn't want her highlighting it when she dressed - she hasn't. It's a totally personal thing to her and in fact, I notice that when we're out in public, she kind of hides it. She has no other piercings.

I personally feel that the bigger a deal you make out of it, the more they will want it. Try to find a compromise you can both live with. IMO, 15 isn't too young and although it can be viewed as a sexually promiscuous adornment, it doesn't need to be. Just like the thong (non) issue - I think it's all what you make of it.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:59pm

Oh, ugh. I feel for you. I cannot stand facial piercings, personally. Shoot, I don't even have my ears pierced! I always figured if God had wanted holes in my ears, He would've put them there! LOL

I found these articles on WebMD. The last article deals more with tongue piercings, but still brings up several points (arguments).

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/101/106497.htm

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/71/81289.htm

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/108/108970.htm

I've never been one to just simly say no to my kids on a lot of things, but I have on this point. I've got boys, but between wanting tattoos and piercings, I just tell them when they are 18 and can pay for any and all expenses that come from the tattoos and/or piercings, then to be my guest. That includes dentist visits, crowns, meds for infections, dr. visits, everything.

One more thing I'd like to add...I recently met an acquantance's daughter. Great family, wonderful people, etc. Her daughter has a very tiny nose piercing. It's a teeny-tiny dot, really, on the side of her nostril. Tastfully done (if that's possible). The sad thing is, I don't remember her hair color, what she looked like, nothing. All I could see was that stupid piercing. I find that terribly sad, and I'm ashamed to admit that that is what I ultimately focused on, but there you have it. Not that any of this really helps, but I hope so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 2:09pm
I am not a huge fan of the lip piercing for all the reasons that have already been mentioned. My DD16 went through a piercing phase at around 14 also. She has 7 piercings in her ears because it is against the law in our state to pierce anything other than the ears under 16 and most tattoo parlors in our area won't even body pierce anyone who is under 18 because of the risks involved. We did allow DD to get her naval pierced at 16 because we did find a reputable parlor that would pierce at 16 with parental consent and it looks really nice on her. We agreed under the condition that we would not consent to any other piercings or a tattoo (which she has been begging us for) until she reaches 18 and then it is completely her choice and her expense. I would check around your area first and find out what the laws are concerning piercings. There are a lot of shady tattoo parlors out there so beware and do your research.
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 2:16pm

>>>One more thing I'd like to add...I recently met an acquantance's daughter. Great family, wonderful people, etc. Her daughter has a very tiny nose piercing. It's a teeny-tiny dot, really, on the side of her nostril. Tastfully done (if that's possible). The sad thing is, I don't remember her hair color, what she looked like, nothing. All I could see was that stupid piercing. I find that terribly sad, and I'm ashamed to admit that that is what I ultimately focused on, but there you have it.>>>

No offense, but the fact that you can admire the family as a whole, "great family, wonderful people, ect." yet judge the dd by her teeny tiny dot stud on her nose screams hypocrite to me; it tells me that you have a very narrow view of how people 'should' look, as if the exterior is more important to the interior. Did you tell your acquiantance friend how disgusting you found his daughter's face?

It's one thing to find piercings distateful, but I think it's a little obnoxious that you couldn't find anything else to notice about this girl who comes from a "great family, wonderful people". I find your judgement of this girl more offensive than if she had 15 piercings all over her face.

Nose piercings are a tradition in many cultures and there are some who actually find them, dare I say it, attractive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 2:27pm

I thank you all for your responses and links. I certainly didn't mean to stir up anything here. Hearts, I think all the OP was trying to say is that the piercing is the first thing you notice (and perhaps remember) on the face, once it's there. In fact, the link I was given to the answer bank (body & soul)has an answer that states:

"I think it's a big mistake. My friend had one done a few years ago, and now the first thing you see when you look at her is the piercing...you don't notice her face any more...takes away any chance of your face being noticed for its natural beauty."

I have quite a few arguments for dd14 at this time. Thanks to all of you who responded!
If anything, I may consider the naval piercing when she is 15 instead of 16 (five months).

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