A little nervous about DD's proposed summer plans

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
A little nervous about DD's proposed summer plans
17
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 11:09am

I think I just need to talk this through so I'm okay with it. Last summer, our pastor retired and moved back to Ghana, where he is from. He had been working with my daughter for a year, both because of her role as keyboard player in the worship band, and because she was dealing with depression.

Right before he left, he invited my DD to stay with him and his wife at their compound in Ghana. They run a small guesthouse for missionary doctors and others who work at the clinic across the road. He thought it would be good for Abigail to gain some perspective by seeing a different way of life and said that she could work by answering phones or assisting his wife in the garden. DD thought this was a good idea, but wasn't ready to make a commitment.

She has been healthy and doing really well for about 7

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Would there be any way to put off the trip for a summer or two so she could at least be 18? And any chance to bring a friend so she's not en route either direction alone?
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

Your DD is the same age as mine, and I would not let her go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000

Just wanted to chime in and say I don't think I'd let my newly turned 17 year old do something like that. Maybe at 19 or 20 but not at such a young age. There are so many things that can go wrong; of course they can go wrong with a 19 or 20 year old but young people mature so much during those years after high school - their decision making skills improve and their impulse control improves. No matter how mature she may be - she's still only 16-17. And I'd want the depression to be WAY behind her before I'd agree to something like that. Speaking from the experience of having a ds that struggled with an emotional disorder - it made me nervous to send him 3 hours away to school afterwards let alone to a 3rd world country on the other side of the world! I do think you should encourage mission/volunteer work closer to home. As you said it's a good thing that she wants do do something 'outside of herself'. Obviously you know your dd and the situation best but I thought I'd just throw in my 2 cents! Keep us posted.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998

This is one of the things I worry about. My brother went on a mission trip as part of an organized group to Honduras when he was 16 and came back with malaria, in spite of the precautions they had taken.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998

I know what you're saying. DH used to travel to India for business quite a bit and basically carried a pharmacy with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002

Hi, there, Ashmama...

We all know to follow our instincts and we all know there are no guarantees in life. If it were me, I would say no. She's only 17 and she will have many opportunities ahead. She's already travelled a lot, so it's not like this is a golden opportunity.

I have been wondering since I first read your post if the pastor discussed this with you before inviting your daughter?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998

Oh, yes, he talked about it with us. It's all very above board. If there's anyone I'd trust to care for my child, it is our pastor and his wife. But I'm still leaning towards saying no because I think there will be other times to have an experience like this, and as others have pointed out, there are ways for her to challenge herself closer to home.

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