Love the new BF

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Love the new BF
13
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 7:00pm

I don't know if anyone here will remember, but my DD, who just turned 16, had a very intense first boyfriend last year. They went out for about 5 months, when he suddenly dumped her and she had a really hard time moving on. I always had an icky feeling about the whole thing. The relationship was too intense--she was sure he was "the one", she let all of her other friendships slide, etc. He was always playing the victim--saying that we hated him and that there was something wrong with DH and me, blah, blah, blah. His parents were never available to drive them anywhere. We had to pick him up and drop him off every time they went anywhere. We didn't allow DD to go to his house because we didn't believe his parents were very involved, or that they would supervise. (The one time we did allow it, she ended up watching a movie in his bedroom w/ another boy and girl!)


Well, she has a new BF now and it is so NORMAL!!! They have gone out a few times, he was over here once, but usually they go out w/ a big group of friends. He invited her over this evening, and I never really had any qualms about it at all. I get a really good "vibe" from his parents. They always drive when the two of them go out because he wants to be the one to pick up the girl. (How cute!!) They each are intent on keeping their separate friends. He doesn't hang all over her, at least not right in front of us. He doesn't make demands on her like the other BF. I just love this kid! This is what I thought the first BF would be like. Now I know I wasn't crazy after all!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 8:10pm
He sounds great!
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 8:14pm
Glad to hear she has a new bf, and that he's so sweet to her! Sounds like the parents are on the same page as you are, too!

Sue, mom to Leah and Seth


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 8:38pm

Glad you like this bf better. We parents feel so relieved when our gut feelings about our kids' bfs/gfs are good ones. Hope this friendship lasts for your dd.

Neither of our sons ever had a gf we didn't like. (DS24 has had only 3 so far; and DS18 only 1.) For about a year, our older DS dated a girl who had an eating disorder, and they broke up when she moved to Colorado. We liked her, but we never got to know her very well because DS met her at college.

She told him about her disorder after they'd been dating about 6 months, and although she'd had it since middle school, DS didn't have a clue. He did go to FL to visit her when she was at a treatment center there, but I don't think he knew how to help with her problem. Even though he's not exactly the nurturing type, I know he really cared for her. He spent a lot of time on the inet researching bulimia, trying to understand it. It was hard watching him try to figure her out, and I know he was hurt when she moved away although it was probably the best thing for her. That was the hardest thing we've experienced with our sons' gfs so far.

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 8:50pm

Oh Yeah Yeah EJ :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 8:59pm

I think the best part about the old BF is that he drove me to this board! I'm pretty sure I found this board because I was looking for some advice about that situation. At least something good came of it!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 9:39pm
EJ-
Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 9:42pm

It is always nice when you like the bf - makes life so much easier for all involved!


Enjoy it!!




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 12:13am

Oh, how nice for you!

 

 

 

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 12:14am
EJ that is great news. I remember the old bf and all you were going through with them. I'm glad she has found a "normal" boy, hopefully this one will be a much better experience for all of you.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 12:54am
Great news! Sounds very similar to my DD who had the boyfriend from hell (weenie boy), and now is dating a decent guy. Their one year anniversary is coming up. To not have your stomach in knots at the mere mention of the BF's name is such a relief isn't it? Sounds like your DD is making sure she's not smothered. Good for her!

Pages