Love the new BF
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| Fri, 12-21-2007 - 7:00pm |
I don't know if anyone here will remember, but my DD, who just turned 16, had a very intense first boyfriend last year. They went out for about 5 months, when he suddenly dumped her and she had a really hard time moving on. I always had an icky feeling about the whole thing. The relationship was too intense--she was sure he was "the one", she let all of her other friendships slide, etc. He was always playing the victim--saying that we hated him and that there was something wrong with DH and me, blah, blah, blah. His parents were never available to drive them anywhere. We had to pick him up and drop him off every time they went anywhere. We didn't allow DD to go to his house because we didn't believe his parents were very involved, or that they would supervise. (The one time we did allow it, she ended up watching a movie in his bedroom w/ another boy and girl!)
Well, she has a new BF now and it is so NORMAL!!! They have gone out a few times, he was over here once, but usually they go out w/ a big group of friends. He invited her over this evening, and I never really had any qualms about it at all. I get a really good "vibe" from his parents. They always drive when the two of them go out because he wants to be the one to pick up the girl. (How cute!!) They each are intent on keeping their separate friends. He doesn't hang all over her, at least not right in front of us. He doesn't make demands on her like the other BF. I just love this kid! This is what I thought the first BF would be like. Now I know I wasn't crazy after all!

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Sue, mom to Leah and Seth
Glad you like this bf better. We parents feel so relieved when our gut feelings about our kids' bfs/gfs are good ones. Hope this friendship lasts for your dd.
Neither of our sons ever had a gf we didn't like. (DS24 has had only 3 so far; and DS18 only 1.) For about a year, our older DS dated a girl who had an eating disorder, and they broke up when she moved to Colorado. We liked her, but we never got to know her very well because DS met her at college.
She told him about her disorder after they'd been dating about 6 months, and although she'd had it since middle school, DS didn't have a clue. He did go to FL to visit her when she was at a treatment center there, but I don't think he knew how to help with her problem. Even though he's not exactly the nurturing type, I know he really cared for her. He spent a lot of time on the inet researching bulimia, trying to understand it. It was hard watching him try to figure her out, and I know he was hurt when she moved away although it was probably the best thing for her. That was the hardest thing we've experienced with our sons' gfs so far.
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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM
Oh Yeah Yeah EJ :)
I think the best part about the old BF is that he drove me to this board! I'm pretty sure I found this board because I was looking for some advice about that situation. At least something good came of it!
It is always nice when you like the bf - makes life so much easier for all involved!
Enjoy it!!
Oh, how nice for you!
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