Lying about internet use
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Lying about internet use
| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 4:53pm |
My husband and I have just discovered that our 16 son is viewing websites that he is not old enough to be on. We had a suspision a couple of weeks ago, but now know for sure. His dad and very angry, and I am upset that he lied to us when we confronted him the first time. He has been a model kid up until this point.
How do we confront him, and not make him pull away?
This is my first time on the boards, I have been to iVillage before, but never posted. From all the previous boards and questions I have read, you all seem to kind and concerned.

Well it isn't exactly surprising to you that he'd lie is it? After all, he broke a rule and I'm sure wasn't very happy about being caught. Heck, even adults have a hard time admitting to mistakes like that.
You don't specify exactly the types of boards he is frequenting that you disapprove of. All you say is that he is "not old enough" to be on them. Is it pornography? Or gambling? Or perhaps other sites like dating boards? Depending on the sites you could put filters on your PC to not allow entry to those sites. Invest in some good software for that type of thing.
We can't protect our kids from EVERYTHING they aren't supposed to see. Heck, when we were young it was the magazines and even if we didn't buy them ourselves, everyone had a friend who could get one somehow. Or it was the inappropriate video tapes or TV shows or whatever. Part of being a teen is this type of rebellion and experimentation. I would just ensure that he understands why you disapprove of the sites you found him using -- whatever they are -- and let him know you will be filtering things out. Also let him know that you know you can't stop him from going to those sites on other people's PCs or wherever but that you hope he would respect your concerns enough to refrain from using them.
Good luck!
I have to share a story from my ex's childhood. His oldest bro (5 yrs. older) had Playboys under the bed or something, which their parents found and of course the thought he was going right to he>>. This vastly increased my ex's admiration for his brother.
I don't like porn because I think it's really degrading and gives young boys an unrealistic expectation about what women are really like, besides. But they are all going to look at it. (I don't know if I'll be so calm when my DS is a teenager. I would be more worried about chat rooms or myspace.