Mad Enough to Spit!
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 09-04-2006 - 2:55pm |
Okay, so I won't spit but some of you know about the troubles I've had with dd14 and her "bad influence" friend H., most of the reasons that I came on this board sometime last year (yes, it's been that long!). DD14 has not been allowed over their all summer; I did allow H. to come over here over the summer, which she did only a couple of times. It seemed that the relationship lost steam on its own, although I recently talked to dd14's therapist (dd was in a special program geared to girls entering high school in the fall), and she indicated to me that the girls in group therapy had noticed and gave their input that the relationship with H. was really dragging dd down. Luckily, dd had made another good friend after staying in school when H. dropped out. She became alot closer to N. this summer. I think it's been really hard for dd to let H. go, b/c she is such a loyal and true friend.
To make this a tad shorter, I just found out that not only is H. doing drugs (weed, so far) but is doing them with her mother, and friends! I knew I would find out about things sooner or later, b/c this is a small town and I do have an older ds16 who knows alot of people. Turns out yesterday one of his band buddies was over at H.'s house with her mother (!) and some friends smoking. Apparently to hear tell it, H.'m mom drives the kids to the dealer! Yes, ds16 has many friends that smoke, to hear him tell it almost everybody. I can understand kids doing this kind of stuff, but H's MOTHER? I am beyond angry. I feel the woman should be turned in for contributing to the delinquency, etc. I'm thinking now of all the conversations I had with her, over concern for the girls. All the two faced lying she was doing. I wish I could personally do a "citizen's arrest". AARGGH!#@!
Tell me, where are we in society where we can't even count on adults to be responsible and keep kids off drugs? I know exactly where we are - in a losing battle.

I'm surprised that you are surprised that there are irresponsible and stupid adults out there...lol. Where do you think alot of these screwed up kids come from? I'm not saying all troubled teens and children are as a result of bad parenting but I'd say that if mom or dad is screwed up there is a strong likelihood the kids will be having problems.
There are plenty of examples in the celeb world (think Drew Barrymore or Michelle Phillips) where things are more open. Imagine how much is out there we don't hear about!
I constantly shake my head at the attitudes I see out there among parents. There's everything from party moms who provide the booze and drugs or even the basement to parents who openly condone and support their 12/13 yos bringing bf/gf over to the house for some "private time". It all may seem relatively harmless and these parents take the attitude of "well they are going to do it anyway so better I know about it" blah, blah, blah but then when their son or daughter gets addicted or pregnant or an STD or starts skipping off school -- who is to blame?
There is an art, a fine balancing act between allowing our kids to experience life and teaching them how to be disciplined and respectful of themselves and others. But you know, nobody ever teaches us how to do all this stuff and you sure don't need any special permission to have children! All you need is unprotected sex and that doesn't take much skill or practice! So there are bound to be all sorts of stupid, unsuitable parents out there.
Good luck with your dd and do everything you can to encourage her new, healthier friendships. And as for that mother? Well, who's to know if all you hear is true but if it is its bound to come out at some point or another. Hopefully though its not at the expense of some other poor child.
Totally irresponsible, downright neglectful and abusive parents have been around for a very long time, and it sounds like H's mom is one of them.
I know it's true, sadly enough, because the source is so reliable. And frankly, I've obviously suspected it for sometime but never had any real "evidence". I hope you're right in that it will come out at some point or another. And of course, as Rose mentions, the kids who were there with H. and mother are other kids whose parents are screwed up and in various states of subtance abuse themselves, and who just don't care about their kids....such a sad state, but there it is.