Make-up and clothing

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Make-up and clothing
13
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 1:03pm
What do you all think about the make-up and clothing being marketed to young teen girls these days? My DD has her 8th grade dance coming up soon, and we were out shopping for dresses this weekend. Honestly, there was nothing suitable. Everything was too low-cut or too short, or both. My DD is pretty developed and everything looks way too sexy on her. So, the dress I got her has spaghetti straps, but at least it's not too short. DH will have a fit when he sees it. I would love to have him take her shopping instead of me so he can see what there is to choose from.
What make-up do you allow your 13- 14 y/o girls to wear? I don't like my DD wearing dark eyeliner. She wore me down by asking if she could wear plum or light brown. And then one day I was like, how did this happpen, your wearing dark brown/black now??
I just feel like she is growing up too fast and looking too old/sexy too soon. Does anybody else feel this way?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 1:37pm

Oh yes!

My DD is almost 14, graduating from 8th grade, and is also fairly developed. We have *exactly* the same issues...in fact, we were shopping for 8th grade graduation dresses this weekend (which will also be worn to a family wedding). Everything is designed for 17-18-19 yos, IMO, and since it's in the "junior" dept, that's what she wants.

Ironically, this was the same day she asked me when she would be old enough to wear thong underwear. Ummmm, never? Seriously, I tried to get her give me her reasons for wanting to. She didn't have any. I gave her my reasons for not thinking it was necessary and we are kind of at an impasse. Come on--thongs on a 14yo who only wears jeans and t-shirts?!? Does anyone have any good arguments for or against thongs on young girls? I'd love some ammunition or to be convinced I'm wrong.

What's sad is that we, as parents, are limited on how to fight this. If just one company would make clothes that are acceptable for this age group we could all band together to support them. As it is we either buy the least offensive or go to the opposite extreme with babyish.

We have the makeup discussions, too. My DD asked about eyeliner so her Christmas stocking had light blue, teal and purple in it. Told her that I didn't want her wearing black, and no liquid of any kind at this point in her life. The other day I caught her in black--on the inside of her eyelid--told her it made her look absolutely stupid and to take it off. I did win the argument against wearing foundation. She has even tone skin that is susceptible to breakout. For her musical performance I let her wear some foundation as "stage" makeup...she broke out the next day. I realize it could be that specific makeup but it was enough to convince her she doesn't need it yet!

BTW, Madie's Mom, have you tried to go swimsuit shopping yet this season? You're in for a *REAL* treat then!

Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 2:36pm

Yep, same exact situation here. DD's 8th grade graduation and all the dresses are extremely low cut. I have yet to find something that isn't too sexy.

As far as the make-up battle, I don't fight that one. I just set her aside and showed her how to do it properly and explained the purpose. She also has extremely sensitive skin, well actually I have come to the conclusion it's hormonal. She wears brown eyeliner and that's pretty much it on a regular basis. When her face breaks out she wears some cover-up to cover the spots.

We leave next week for vacation and badly need to go swimsuit shopping and I am completely dreading that!




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 2:53pm
Thanks Renniemom. Yeah-I am not looking forward to swimuits this year. We have looked at a few catalogs, and it's funny. DD will be like, I want that swimsuit or that swimsuit, and I'm like, do they have any scubadiving suits we can buy for you?
A funny story....a couple of years ago before DD was so developed DH went with us to get her a SWIMSUIT. DD and I thought we would ask his opinion (as a joke)on a gymnastics suit (one piece, with sleeves). He was so happy. He was like, yeah, lets get her that, it's perfect!
A far as thongs....I will NEVER buy my DD a thong. However, she knows that so she already bought herself a few when she was shopping with my sister. She usually does her own laundry though, so it ws a while before I knew. I didn't really have rule about it, I just, like you, didn't see the point. As long as she doesn't wear them with a skirt I guess I will just have to find a way to cope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 3:45pm

I had the same problems with clothing last year when my DD was finishing up her 8th grade year. Try shopping in the Petite sections of major department stores -- the clothing you'll find there is much more modest. My DD is 5'2, and rather curvy so she couldn't fit into the junior sizes no matter how big a size we got. By the time we got a size that fit her in the hip/butt/thigh area, they were enormous around the waist.

As far as makeup goes, in 8th grade she was allowed mascara and lip gloss. Now that she's in high school, I let her add a foundation, blush and eyeshadow. Truth be told, she is often so rushed in the mornings that she doesn't even put it all on everyday -- a lot of days, it's just mascara. I took her to a MAC cosmetics store so we could get a good match on a lightweight, powder foundation and a natural looking blush. She's still working on managing the blush, but so far she has managed to apply it all with a very light touch and it looks very natural.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 3:59pm

I guess I should be thankful I don't have to battle makeup too much. My DD has always been one to say "Wow, she's wearing a lot of makeup" so she has a fairly light hand. In fact, when we did the stage makeup she felt really uncomfortable and she was wearing less than I would have allowed for the situation!

We did fight over it for a while. I resisted letting her wearing it last year but finally relented and her Easter basket had basic eye shadow and blush in it. Then it became a non-issue and she doesn't even bother with it most of the time. She is just now allowed to wear a little mascara because she has naturally gorgeous lashes, and eyeliner.

I am very lucky in that she doesn't fight me too much on clothes. I've told her when we go shopping she can try on clothes all day but I get the final say and if she buys herself something I completely disapprove of she'll probably have to cut it up herself--so no threat of that! She does pretty well in covering up. Our biggest difference in is midriff. I don't think shorts and sweats *have* to be rolled down at the waist--she does!

If only I thought allowing thongs would make them a non-issue, too! Somehow I don't know...

Dani

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 4:57pm

I'm wondering what is the problem you have with her wearing thong underwear. Presumably no one will see them? If you think someone will, ummmmmm, I think you have a bigger problem than the underwear. I hate it when the thongs are pulled up and can be seen from the low waisted jeans they wear these days. That I don't allow. Now, my friend doesn't "allow" her dd's to wear thong underwear (they do anyway) because of the Monica Lewinsky-Clinton fiasco where the sexy thing she did was to pull them up so he could see them? Again, the bigger problem is not really the underwear. Just my two cents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 5:53pm

I totally agree that the underwear isn't the problem. I just don't want to let her do things because everyone else is. I think that's a cowardly way to live, especially during the formative years. If she is able to voice her reasons, and has thought about it, then I will happily hear her.

My DD is already a sexualized being in her own mind. I don't want to encourage it. I told her if she was wearing dress slacks, etc. and didn't want panty lines I didn't have a problem with it. She doesn't own dress slacks because she won't wear them...

I think it's more that, now that I think about it. The fact that society has turned our little girls into objects who think they need to be (or are capable of being) "sexy", or that "sexy" is preferable to intelligent, kind, thoughtful, etc. I'd like to keep my DD as far from that as possible.

Maybe I'm being unrealistic but I can try, can't I?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 5:57pm

I'm not crazy about the thong underwear craze either. There is something about them that just screams 'sex' to me and I don't know why. I can really appreciate some moms not wanting their young girls in them.

Whether thong panties are meant to be seen or not, the fact is they DO get seen. By everyone. In classes I took at our local community college last year, the female students wore thong and string bikinis with their hip hugger jeans that scooted way down their backsides when they sat down. I could see straight down their pants. Yuk. That tushy might have been cute to their parents when they were two, but I don't think anyone should have to look at someone else's raggedy panties and butt sitting in a classroom. If it distracted me, can you imagine how distracting it would be to a hormone soaked teenage boy? Egad.

My DD has never expressed a desire to wear thong panties -- in fact, quite the opposite. She prefers those boy-style hipster briefs. She is at a uniform school and wears skirts every day and when the wind blows, those skirts blow with it. Better to have her butt covered than not.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 7:43am
I have never seen the thong panties my DD bought without me sticking out the top of her pants. I've only seen them in the dryer when she leaves her laundry in there. DH expressed his desire to "cut them up". I talked to other mothers I know and they all wear thongs and let their daughters wear thongs, and I sort of felt like I was being unreasonable for how I felt about it. I myself prefer "boy shorts", and that is what I have always bought my DD to avoid pantilines. I agree, something about thongs "screams sex" and that is why I cringed at the idea of my DD wearing them. As long as they never stick out of the top of her pants I've resigned myself to let it go. Maybe I gave up to easily...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 8:45am

I don't think you gave in too easily... underwear is underwear, and if it's not seen by the world, or anyone else, what is the issue?

Pages