Meanwhile here at home with my son,.....
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| Fri, 01-13-2006 - 7:34pm |
I noticed that my son isn't using any money from his lunch account
at school. When I asked him about this he got agrivated. He will
not eat anything in the mornings no matter what I do..he takes his
meds for ADHD/ODD and goes to school. I thought that he was eating
breakfast and lunch at school...NOT the case. He is so withdrawn from
the others at school, he had taken to going to the library at school
during lunch after he ate. NOW it seems that he isn't even eating
lunch and going straight to the library. Before, he would eat lunch
all alone with no friends...etc... then sit there with his head
hung to avoid others. Thats when he started going to the library.
(when I asked him about what was going on). He eats NOTHING all day
long and when he comes home, he might eat something, but I am not here
to see. When I fix dinner he eats little. This is all new. I fixed
several things that I know he likes..but he will eat a little and leave the
rest. He is a thin boy, but is fairly muscular. He has developed some
pretty decent muscles that he shows off all the time. He is as strong
as an ox.
My question is this... what can I do to get him to eat? He won't take
anything from home, I have tried that... I am losing ground here and
I don't want him to go hungry because he is lonely. He tells me that
his hungriness (sp?)goes away before lunch...and that the line at break
is to long and he wouldn't have time to eat anything by the time
that he can get something. So I know that he is hungry
during the morning... It makes me feel bad.

Neither of my kids would buy lunch regularly in Jr Hi or HS due to the long lines at the food service. I heard this from other kids too: that by the time you got the food there was hardly time to eat it. And neither of them got up in time to eat breakfast so there was the added concern of them running on empty until after school.
Ds would sometimes take a bag lunch but dd generally didn't like to do that. I had to get pretty creative with her. Sometimes she would take a bagel, or a protein bar, or a smoothie. And I tried to have easy to fix foods available for afterschool time, because neither of them would make the effort to fix a sandwich or peel an orange. These days there is a pretty good selection of protein/meal bars and smoothies or other meal-substitute drinks available so maybe you can find some that he will consume.
Is it possible for your ds to eat breakfast at home so you know that at least he gets something in his stomach? If you have microwaveable foods like Hot Pockets at home for afterschool time would he nuke something then? I know that some of this stuff is not very nutririous but it is better than the zero nutrition that he is getting now. I would be concerned about low blood sugar and how it can affect his behavior.
Finally, I made sure to serve a balanced healthy dinner so I knew that they were getting at least one complete meal per day. Both of them were actually pretty healthy despite the awful eating habits.
Good luck, there are so many challenges with teens even without the ADHD/ODD. Hope this helps.
I feel bad for your DS just reading your post! My heart is breaking for him
On the food issue, I've always packed lunches for my kids every day of their school careers. The claim the cafeteria food to be icky (true) and that they are so hungry by the time lunch time comes around that they don't want to wait in line to get their lunch. So I pack.
I also make a take-along breakfast for DD when she leaves for school. She leaves about 6:45 so there isn't much time for her to sit down and eat. Bagels, leftover pizza or pasta, tortillas with cheese or peanut butter, a commuter cup of juice or milk and a vitamin.
His not eating and withdrawal from people has me concerned. Is it possible he is suffering from depressions? I'm not all that familiar with the symptoms, but I'd venture a guess that loss of appetite and isolating oneself might be big indicators that something else is amiss here. I might check further into what's really going on here.
{{hugs to you both}} Please post again and let us know how he is doing.
Edited 1/14/2006 1:02 pm ET by julesnalpine
I would be more concerned with the fact taht he is so withdrawn socially - than with the fact that he isn't eating. My son went thru this in HS and he is still withdrawn, and still finds it impossible to eat in public. (my first thought was that maybe your son is overweight and that is an issue - but you say he is thin so that's not it).
I agree with the other posters about sending him with SOMETHING. there has to be SOMETHING that he will
I have no other advice to add--I agree with the posters who said try to send something, anything with him to school. Your brain just doesn't function on an empty stomach. Maybe you could convince him to eat a snack at nutrition, and just a snack at lunch, on the way to the library. You send the snacks so he can avoid the long lines (we have same problem at our high school).
Some other snacks I've sent before: carrot sticks and ranch dip (all packaged), celery and peanut butter (good brain food), Smart Puffs (part of the Pirate's Booty line which is MUCH healthier than the standard Cheetos, etc.), protein bars are pretty tasty these days, especially the ones with chocolate :-), snack baggie with almonds (a protein to keep him going all day), and also tuna salad kits.
But I also would be more concerned with his withdrawal. It's a definite sign of something.
Laura
----His not eating and withdrawal from people has me concerned. Is it possible he is suffering from depressions?-----
Well, could be... he is on Wellbutrin for the ADHD.. but you know, this is really
killing me... he is a straight A student and the one girl that he decided to ask
out last year turned him down. Now he has a crush on a senior (he is a sophmore)
the girl is his sisters friend and she quickly told him that the girl wouldn't
be interested in him and that she already has a boyfriend. Heartbreaking isn't it?
All this and he is scheduled to get braces this month.
Thanks for your post.. I will update
It seems like there are two issues here - your son isn't eating enough and he seems sad/lonely. Both of these could be symptoms of something else - depression, anxiety, or a side effect of ADHD meds - and it seems like it would be worthwhile to talk to your son's doc about those possibilities.
In the short run, I wonder if your son would eat PowerBars or something similar. My DD went through a "I'm too rushed to eat breakfast" phase, and I bought a box of Luna bars. She would eat that on the bus or in between first and secon period. I also tried a little humor here - I said "all it will take to make me happy is if you eat this d**n bar. How easy is that? Make your poor mom happy and eat this sometime today" We have gradually gotten into the habit of breakfast again - she and I wake up about 15 minutes earlier and have time to actually sit together and eat. If I cook her an egg or oatmeal, she'll eat it. (also - probably not relevant to your son - I showed her research that people who eat breakfast have an easier time losing/maintaining weight)
HTH
Sue
Wellbutrin is an anti-depressant in addition to treating ADHD, (also works for weight loss and smoking cessation, belive it or not), but he might not be getting enough of it to treat any kind of depression.
I agree, talk to the doc. This is moving to a very serious issue very quickly. My son has depression. He refused to take his meds for it. Then, there was the girl issue (there always is a girl issue....) and he stopped eating completely for 3 days. He doesn't have an ounce of fat on him anyway. On the 3rd day, he told me he felt so weak that he had to pull his car over and just stop for a while. I asked him to come out and eat with the family, he refused, threw me a load of hostile crap, cussed and all the rest. I let it go. About 30 minutes later, I went back and told him that he could eat whatever he liked, I didn't care, I'd go BUY something if he wanted something specific, but that I was requiring him to eat before 8pm or I was taking him to ER and having him admitted, where they would hook up an IV and feed him that way, the choice was his. This was around 630. And then, I sat and I waited. Sure enough, 745, he came out of his room and made himself something to eat, something little, then asked me if I'd run to Taco Bell for him. I frankly was shocked that it worked, but I was watching him decline by the moment.
I believe he was starving himself to see if I'd notice. I don't have a clue if he eats at school or not. With privacy laws being what they are, I'm not entitled to that information (makes me CRAZY to be told that over and over about MY kids!) But, I make sure I have fast/easy foods like frozen pizza and mac n cheese available for him. With my son, it was an attention getter. He was going to starve himself until someone noticed, or he was gonna starve himself to death. When they are depressed like that, either option sounds fine.
So, bottom line, take a good hard hold of him. Make ultimatums you are willing to carry through. It's by far better that he eat a candy bar than nothing at all, so get some food in his pockets or back pack or locker. Talk to his school councelor, make them aware of the situation. They need to be working with you to fix this. Maybe you need to tell him that he either get food on his own during lunch time, or Mrs Counselor will come out and have lunch with him. His choice. He can sit off in the corner if he likes, but he has to EAT. And, get his depression under control. The Wellbutrin isn't working for that.