BUT MOM I REALLY NEED NEW CLOTHES!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
BUT MOM I REALLY NEED NEW CLOTHES!!
4
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 11:14pm

First let me admit, we do overindulge our children. Secondly, we have managed to raise 2 children thus far that are fairly frugal with money (their money). Thus far we have avoided any major life challenges drugs, sex, school problems, etc.

DD(16) announced this morning at breakfast, "Mom, I really need some new clothes!" Fortunately, DH was not within earshot or he may have removed her tongue, permanently. My first response was ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This phrase did escape my lips in a rather loud fashion. DD responded with Mom you just don't understand. Oh yes, I remember me, the I understand nothing or know nothing parent. Silly me, I thought I was in my other personality for a moment.

I pointed out to the light of my life, that the holidays had just passed and she received many a gift card with which she purchased what....clothing I believe...gosh I do know something after all. After receiving Oscar worthy eye rolls and sighs, I received again the failure to understand comment.

Since I am a Human Resource Director by trade, I attempted some tactics that have served me well in 20 years (research, then listening, then explaining the options). I counted the shirts currently hanging in her closet (33 to be exact), jeans (6 pair), hoodies (4)...I would have moved on the dresser drawers but I had enough research. Additionally, I would like to note for the record this clothing was in excellent shape, appropriate for the season and to DD has not added or subtracted any large amounts of weight.

I returned to DD with my research and asked her to explain why she needed new clothes when she had a ready, fashionable supply with all the appropriate labels? "Gosh, Mom everyone has seen most of those clothes"!! OMG, how could I have omitted that vital fact from my research?

We had a very long speech on gratitude, to be followed by action. She must now donate 10 clothing items...2 of which she really likes to the homeless shelter. Yes, I do know which ones are her favorites! I also reminded DD, who I am certain feels she has entered the twilight zone, that she does in fact have a PT job and does get paid actual money.

Her response..."Mom, you know I am saving half of every paycheck in my bank account for college living expenses (this means lifetime supply of chicken strips, pizza & Hollister/AE needs)". Next response.."Geez, you and Dad taught me to be a good saver, if I spend my money on clothes...I wouldn't be responsible with my money". My child should be on the debate team, she always finds the angle.

My response...EXACTLY DD, no need to buy new clothes when you have a very nice assortment in the closet. She left the kitchen table dumbfounded...her parting remark; "I don't understand how I asked for new clothes and now have to give some away". She may not appreciate the lesson now, but I will remind her in 10 years, I have long memory.

Avatar for jobismom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 7:37am

OMG Thank You for your post. We had similar conversations this weekend at our house with both teens. Tho ours are a little younger and do not have jobs. The story was very similar - ds has stained most shirts in shop at school, and ruins his shoes skateboarding (this is my fault WHY), dd has and is growing but I do my best to keep up here!!!

Im constantly reminding them that we are a family of 5 and all have to wear clothes so do not hit me all at once for things, give me time and space things out!!!

You made my day!!Terry

 Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 7:46am
As my mom used to say: "When you grow up, I hope you have children just like you!" About the time she is raising teens of her own, try reminding her of this conversation. LOL
Rose
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 2:57pm
You are hysterical. My 11 yo DS, when told that he had to take some money out of his bank acct. (of course he earned none of this) said he was saving the money for college too. LOL My DD really is a clothes fanatic too. The good part is that she usually spends her own money and looks for a sale, but she could really be using the money for other things. She will complain that she has to pay for car ins. but she spends her job money pretty freely (and she did get GCs for Christmas too)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 7:28pm

I so relate. I'm sure if I counted the t-shirts, sweaters, shirts, hoodies and jeans my dd has accumulated over the past year or so I would count TWICE the number.

Last summer when she was complaining about having "no tshirts" we counted them and determined she had enough to wear a different t-shirt every single day for a month. Needless to say no more tshirts were purchased!

The crazy part of all this? My dd goes to a Catholic school where she has to wear a UNIFORM!!! These clothes are just for weekends and evenings!!!

The problem is, and I admit it, she has a great figure. She is a dancer and is tiny and muscular and when she tries something on it looks so good on her that its difficult to resist. Also, because she is tiny it is easy to buy her stuff cheap. Very little of what she has is expensive stuff -- she'll only get something a little more top of the line for birthdays/Christmas.

But I do think its something about the holidays and holiday spending. Once my dd started spending her holiday gift money and gift cards it was like she was addicted! She just wanted more and more!