Mom on LI arrested for serving

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Mom on LI arrested for serving
6
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 9:09pm

Story in the news today in the NYC area - a mother was arrested for serving alchohol to her son's friends. Son is 18 - it doesn't say how old the friends were - just that they were under 21. Neighbors called the police when the party got out of hand, and she ended up being the first parent arrested under a new "Social Host" law on Long Island.

Here's the link to the story
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/ny-lihost0807,0,2867318.story?coll=ny_mezz

Personally, I don't know if this is the right tool for decreasing teen drinking, but as a mom I would be furious if my kid was being served alcohol at someone else's house without my knowledge or permission.

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 10:42pm
I didn't know about this law, but it sounds like it is that county and not the state. I live in NY state and hadn't heard of this one before. I think it is a great idea, I don't really know if it will cut down on teen drinking, but I think it will make people think twice about serving in their homes. I know there are plenty of people who do and I think it is extremely irresponsible.
Funny thing though, in both the cases they sited the people involved claimed that they didn't do anything wrong. "It wasn't me it was the other guy!!!" How typical is that?
Kristie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 11:29pm

There were reportedly houses in our area also where parents did the same thing--rumor has it. With parents like that, you need chaperones. I agree--please don't offer my kids booze or drugs...I really don't get it...My mother let me taste alchohol when I was a teen in hopes of taking away the forbidden fruit angle. I sipped...under her roof I think a little in her presence..but it was no big deal ...more a peace/understanding offering that she knew I would want to try it out...I don't drink at all now..I did a bit when I was twenty something

But to me it is inexcusable to offer booze to anyone's kid. They have no right!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 7:29am
You're right - just Nassau County, as far as I know. I hope it *does* discourage people serving in their homes, but I"m afraid it will just be ignored!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 7:43am

We do have laws here that allow for some pretty hefty punishments for parents who serve underage kids other than their own - but unfortunately they're often ignored.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 9:07am

Like you and others quoted in the article, I agree this might not curb teen drinking, but those parents who do allow underage drinking in their homes will probably be a little more careful if they don't stop allowing it altogether. And it surely will not INCREASE teen drinking! Some of the "providing parents" think it's safer for kids to drink in their home than out on the street somewhere, but I don't think that's necessarily true, and it certainly does not justify breaking the law. So the social host law is a good one.

I recently found out from DS24 that when he was in HS a friend's parents allowed drinking, holding on to the car keys to be sure no one drove while intoxicated. These are parents who I've always respected, and I was shocked to hear that. Of course as a HS kid, knowing we'd disapprove, DS never told us about the parties. Someday I'm sure I'll get the scoop from DS17 about what went on during his HS life. Even though I've waited up for him every single night and I never could detect that he'd been drinking, there were probably times he just stopped drinking early enough so that I couldn't tell.

The problem with adults allowing underage alcohol consumption for groups of kids, is that it increases availability of it to the kids. If it's harder to get, it's less likely to become an expected way to have fun. While I'll never put the blame for DS17's suspension from school and ensuing depression last fall on friends' parents who may have allowed drinking in their homes, I have to believe that if alcohol had simply been harder to get, the kids would not have been drinking as much, and we might not have had to go through those two months of hell.

Another problem is that adults who allow groups of kids to socialize with alcohol send the message that it is okay, when it is ILLEGAL. Note that I say "groups of kids". (Personally, I think it's okay for parents to serve alcohol to their children at family dinners/celebrations where drinking is not the focus of the get-together, and where no one in attendance has more than a couple of drinks--a very controlled environment.)

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Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 9:52am

There was a family here in CT who not only hosted and served alcohol to minors, they set up police monitors and listened in on those band radios!! They apparently knew that it was going to get loud, so they wanted to be alerted to the police beforehand. I have no idea how they would have disposed or hidden the 3 kegs of beer they purchased for the graduation party! My God - their jail sentence was reduced to probation and it wasn't only the parents, it was also their eldest son. It was splashed in the papers for almost a year and every time another parent is arrested, their case comes back to life. It's sad.

That said, I will admit that I once allowed my dd's then 20 year old bf to have a beer at her HS graduation party. He didn't even finish it and they were home for the night, so nothing came of it, but still, I guess *technically* I could have gotten into trouble. I would not want someone else serving my dds' alcohol underage, however, I think that past 18, the parents should decide if their young adult can have a beer or a glass of wine with dinner.