Mom wants to play @ teens b-day party

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Mom wants to play @ teens b-day party
11
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 12:42am

This year, to celebrate the big 1-3 (a little late, but that's ok) I'm paying way more than I can afford so he and 9 of his favorite school chums can play paintball. Even more special than usual (in his mind), is that this is his first boy-girl birthday party since 2nd grade.

And since I'm paying for a package of exactly 10 kids, I want to be certain 10 kids are gonna be there. So I've personally called the parents of the top 10 invited kids to verify the date is good for them and get it on their calendars (or we'll invite someone else!)

While talking to one of the invited girls, she asks if her mom can come. I'm saying "sure, there's a place for your mom to sit and watch" when, suddenly, the mom (who I don't know) is on the phone. The mom says SHE wants to play paintball too and can she?

I was so surprised I had no idea what to say.

1/I can barely afford to pay for the 10 kids, I can't afford any "extras" and

2/the party package gives the kids a private field and ref for 2 hours, after that they can play in the public games. But I just can't imagine ten 13-year old kids being thrilled to share their private field with the mom of one of the girls. I'm not even playing! No other adult is playing! Not even our close friends!

Could I have misunderstood? Am I overreacting?

I tried telling the mom that I had only paid for 10 people and that they got 2-hours on a private field, but that it was a public place and she could surely play in the open play. But I never actually said "NO". Mostly, I fear, I was blathering. And I was afraid if I pissed her off she wouldn't bring her daughter to the party. SO, she's coming and plans to play. She sounds quite excited about it.

And I'm glad she thinks it sounds neat, it is fun! But I really wanted this to be a special thing for JUST my son and his friends. Just kids. Just these kids. The grown-up party is scheduled for another day.

What if when I give the formal invitation to this girl, I include a flier with the public rates and field times in it for her mom. Would that be enough hint that she can play but not on the party field? Or would that be rude? Or, should I let her play with my son's private group? I wonder what DS will think about this. Hmm. Maybe she just doesn't realize how the fields are set up and thinks it is all open, like at the rock gym.

I wouldn't have been surprised if someone asked if a sibling could come and play. I just never expected a mom to want to play at 13th boy b-day party!
.... ACK!.. I'm still blathering....

Karen
PS. Dang, I hope she doesn't read this website cuz I'll REALLY feel stupid then!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 1:26am
Actually, none of the note was meant as sarcasm at all. I tried to write it as I would to a friend that had never played before.
The paintball people were the ones who suggested I tell all the female players to wear extra clothes on top. Since the mom never played, I figured she needed to know! (I do want her to have fun, just not on the kids field.)
But I have removed the paragraph about the individual costs and the sentence hinting she might be sore after playing. Ok, that one sentence might have been freudian. LOL
Thanks for the feedback!
K

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