Money Management 101
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| Wed, 10-26-2005 - 4:29pm |
I have decided to give both of my teens $15 for the week's worth of lunches at school ($3 per day). Its such a hassle to try to find dollar bills every day in the hurry of getting out the door to school and work - I do try to keep them on hand, but I though this might be a good lesson on acquiring money management skills - particularly for 16 y.o. ds who allows money to virtually slip through his fingers. I gave him $10 Monday and $5 Tuesday. This morning he tells me he has no money left for lunch! He has been buying "brunch" and numerous snacks because when he has money he "can't control himself, and I buy food." He'd rather me just dispense the $3 per day rather than self monitor. I refused to give him money this a.m., told him I hope he'll learn his lesson. He'll have to bring his lunch the rest of the week. Now I feel guilty - my kid is hungry at school, how can his brain even function without any fuel? I'd still rather him learn this lesson before he is out on his own (in his case, doubtful it will be when he's 18, he's very immature). He does have a case of mild ADD, unmedicated. Maybe I'm expecting too much of him?
He'll probably wind up borrowing money from friends and then, learn all about "debt management".

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I do a similar thing with my DD14 and it *has* been a learning experience for her. A few times she's asked for more money on Th or Fri and I just give her a "I don't understand" look. She rolls her eyes and laughs - she knows she's not getting any more money. I always offer to make a sandwich for her to bring with her, or some fruit, or a 'meal replacement' bar or something. After a week or so, she figured it out. Also, she has allowance money that's separate from meal money. If she really goes over the budgeted meal money, she can dip into her own "savings". At first she said "but that's *my* money" and I said "yes, and if you choose to spend more at lunch, you are free to use your own money to do it"
You may need to do some problem-solving with your DS - what are his meal options, how can he make the money last, could he bring snacks from home rather than buying at school? Would a little more money help (if you/he budgeted an extra $1/day for snacks)?
This is a GREAT lesson for you to teach your DS and best learned now, and not when he's out of the house!
Sue
I still pack lunches for my two ... sigh ... they both hate cafeteria food and I hate the thought of them being hungry at school more than I hate packing lunches so ... I still do it.
I THOUGHT I was going to have DD be responsible for her own lunch now that she's in hs, but her schedule is so crammed that I just couldn't bring myself to add that to her schedule on top of everything else. She says that the food at her hs is actually good (the cafeteria stays open until about 3:30 and she's bought food after school a few times) but the lines are so long and freshman rarely actually make it to the front of the line before lunch is over so she prefers to bring lunch from home.
I do know of a mom, however, who makes her hs DD take a sandwich to school every day (I don't know who makes it though) then gives her $2 a day for a drink and extras like chips or a cupcake.
Maybe you could try something like that until your DS gets a little better with the budgeting concept.
I sometimes think we live in a different world, not exactly for the better.
The school cafeteria here is like a mini food court with lots of unhealthy choices. A decent lunch cost around $4 - $5. The kids have a student lunch account with a PIN number. I fork out $100.00 per month into the account. Since the kids here equate a "bag lunch" with abject poverty, they seem to be motivated to not exceed their account.
Thank you for attempting to teach your children this valuable lesson. My dad was the local bill collector so I saw first hand what the inability to manage money can do to families. I am going to start including a short series of lessons on personal finance with the youth that I work with at church. It will be difficult to try to explain to them about the "evils" of going into debt when 1/2 their parents are in debt but I'm sure I will figure out a tactful way of handling this.
In my opinion, you are right to not give him any additional money this morning. Allowing him to take his lunch is a very viable option. If he's hungry, it's his own fault. If he goes into debt, then he will have to figure that out as well.
When DD started driving, I gave her a separate credit card for gas only. DD and I are the only ones on this account and at first I watched it very, very closely - checking the balance weekly. I give her $20 for lunch money as she is on the yearbook staff and often has to eat out while picking up ads and pictures. She does odd jobs for her grandmothers to earn her weekend spending or shopping money. She works during the summer to pay for any other expenses she has. We have told her that as long as her grades stay up and she doesn't overspend her money, we will pay for her vehicle and her insurance. She asked me yesterday if she could see about going back to work until after Christmas. She has finished her senior research paper and volleyball season is over so I'm willing to let her give it a try.
I wish you the best of luck and alot of patience in this lesson.
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Do you mean that you and I live in different worlds (California CAN definitely be considered 'different') or that we live in a world different than the one our children reside in? Or just that the world's a different place from when you were a kid ...?
Feeling a little slow this morning, my apologies!
J
Sorry... That wasn't clear at all. Happens when I muddle and muse and type too fast.
I meant We (our family) seem to (physically)live in a different world (generically)from "Standard Values USA" (whatever that means)..
The high school here is an affluent district. The kids have a sense of entitlement. The standing joke is you can tell the student parking lot from the teachers as the teachers drive the old clunkers. The kids have the late model expensive cars.
This entire random thought of mine was prompted by the fact that the school lunches are just another example of too expensive, and too over the top with menu choices. We wouldn't want the little darlin's to want something they actually couldn't get now..
The prevailing attitude about "bag lunches" at this school kind of makes me sick.
In fact, this is a very good thread which has made me think. The way we have it set up now is like a credit card where DD doesn't have to worry about the balance. Not good. I think I'll ask DD about that tonight. Depending on her attitude, I may just cut off the PIN account and buy some brown paper bags.
I know what you mean. When I dropped DD off for Homecoming dance a few weeks ago there were a gazillion limos in the drop off lane. Not just limos, but STRETCH limos, HUMMER limos and limo BUSES! I have never seen anything like it in my life. The student parking lot is full of pretty nice rides, too.
The school itself is located in a very affluent area of the county, but kids from all over the county, not just in the immediate area, attend, so there is quite a diverse group of students.
That said, however, DD shared a story with me early in the school year about how kids in her English class were talking about where they all lived. Of course, no one actually knew where our little town is located, just that it was 'way, way out there' and one kid was talking about Jenny Craig across the street.
DD, visualizing a strip mall, asks the kid, "you have a diet facility in your neighborhood?" Turns out it was Jenny Craig's HOUSE, not one of her diet centers. Oh.
I suggested she invite them all out here to see how the po' folks live.
We learn by mistakes. Frankly, I still do most of my learning that same way even as an adult(ok, so Im a little dense)
He will figure it out in a week or two and chances are kids are feeding him from their stuff-that seems to be commonplace
If 3/4 weeks out, he is still struggling, maybe you do need to break the process down and give him 2 installments. But I wouldnt jump there too quickly
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