More suicide talk...

Avatar for kel7col4
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Registered: 03-26-2003
More suicide talk...
25
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 7:40am

Well, I have posted about the local missing girl that everyone suspects committed suicide. DD had a situation last night that really freaked her out. One of her best guy friends told her on im he was gonna kill himself. It's not the first time he's done this to her - well, dd totally flipped out. The first time he did this to her, was about a year ago and when dd turned him down, gently I might add. He has done it a few times since, but not as dramatic as last night. The boys father also committed suicide a few years ago, I don't know the details. DD said she was going to go the guidance counselor about it today, to try and get this boy some help, but I don't know if she will. I know she's worried he will flip out on her. Should I go to the school armed with the chat conversation? He knows I know, because after I forced dd to go to bed last night, I chatted with him (I told him dd was flipping out and I forced her to show me the conversation). He never said anything to me about what was going on or what he had talked to dd about...

I told dd that those that talk about suicide are asking for help. At that point, she was ticked at this kid for doing this to her yet again....she was flipping out on everyone close to her, while trying to get this kid's cousins' phone number and everyone was just nonchalantly saying he won't do it. She didn't think he would either, with the history they have, but after the missing girl she was terrified this would be "the time" and she would feel responsible. And to her credit, he was much more specific than he had ever been.....how he was going to do it and left goodbye messages for dd to give to specific people....

He needs help....I don't know the family and I don't personally know the kid - if dd doesn't go to the guidance counselor, what is my place?




Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 10:20am
Just got off the phone with the guidance counselor, she called my dd down to the office after my email. DD let it all come out and the school is taking it very seriously. There are 4 guidance counselors and dd and the boy have different counselors. His counselor was called in and will be talking to the boy and I guess the boy's mother. I hope this helps; and I selfishly hope there are no repercussions for my dd. :(



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 10:46am
Your experience here sounds eerily familiar. The boy in our case was bi-polar and the same thing with girlfriends and my dd. My dd did start distancing herself from him and now has very little contact with him. It is/was hard for her because she would never turn her back on someone in need but it was becoming too uncomfortable for her. Hence, my comment about him being "too grateful". I'm glad the counselors are taking this seriously. I hope there are no repercussions for you or your dd. IMO you did the right thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 10:54am

Good. I'm glad you e-mailed the counselor and that she met with your dd. I'm also glad the school is taking it seriously and that they are going to talk to the boy and his mom. I, too, hope nothing adverse happens to your daughter. As we all know, there are many different kinds of people in this world, each with their own problems, concerns, and values. Hopefully, your dd will take some comfort in knowing that SHE did the right thing and that SHE cannot control what the boy does or does not do from this point on. And yes, I agree with the others, the talk of suicide is a scream for help.

Hugs,
Amelia

Avatar for kel7col4
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 12:38pm
Well it all sounds like it worked out for the best with your dd and her friend so I can only hope we will be that lucky!



Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 12:40pm
I agree completely with everything you said...sounds like she and I will have a lot to talk about when she gets home. I know I am on pins and needles waiting for the outcome....



Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 12:59pm

Well, I apparently like to start EVERY post with the word "Well" LMAO

Sorry, just had to poke fun at myself...




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 1:11pm

If this kid is doing it as a ploy for attention and has absolutely no interest in following through, then he has to know SOMEONE is going to report it. If not, he does now!

Part of me felt for the kids who were inappropriate after Columbine-maybe they made their own fantasy hit list after being picked on but there was no thoughts of violence involved. And then another part of me thought "how STUPID" and they need to learn that playing with scenarios that could be real is unacceptable

So either this kid is going to get much needed help or he is going to learn a powerful lesson.

Either way I think you both did the right thing

Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 1:41pm

ITA, and I can't help but wonder how many other people he has said this to. I know for a fact he did the self pity thing with my niece, so I am guessing it's not only for the benefit of my family. I am going to hope, dd's name wasn't called down to the guidance office on the school loudspeaker and that she wasn't still in the office when he was called down. I can only hope he told so many people this last night that he has no clue who "ratted" him. Or I guess he can blame me for being a nosey mom - that is if he is looking for someone to blame. And with his history, I'm scared that is the way it will be played out.

A big plus for dd, is who she is dating. He even told her she needed to tell someone, he is the "it" boy in the school and "if" he stands behind her, I think she will be pretty "safe."




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 2:06pm

I know a girl who tried to kill herself unsuccessfully three times! She tried slitting her wrists, hanging herself, and taking pills. Each time a different family member caught her. Every single time the house was supposed to be empty, but someone always came home from work early or in her brother's case, came home a day early from college.

She moved away from her parents and is much happier now. I don't think she'll be trying again.

Kayla's best friend's brother hung himself with a belt in his closet. We don't know why. He always seemed happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 4:55pm

Hugs to you and DD. Hope all works out for you both. You both did the right thing.

Sallie