Movies to see or not to see?
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Movies to see or not to see?
| Tue, 08-08-2006 - 1:44am |
My 14 year old daughter asked today to see a movie with 4 friends. It was a PG13 movie (You, Me and Dupree) and I didn't feel that it was appropriate for her to see. At least until I see it first. Her friends still went and then decided to have a big slumber party afterwards and she was not there. I feel bad but yet at the same time, I think I did the right thing. What do you think? Am I sheltering to much or ????

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Just because we don't want to sit through a movie watching crude jokes about masturbation does not mean that we are teaching our kids to be ashamed of it. Some things are just not for public consumption.
I've enjoyed viewing your recent posts. I only have one thing to say: enjoy this time of your life. It is the one time in life when you will have "all the answers".
Wait - you mean we're NOT "dumber than dirt?" Darn - someone ought to tell my kids that.
First, a little story. My oldest DS was 7 when the movie "Titanic" came out. A few of my friends saw it and told me they felt it was ok for DS to see it with me there. Considering it was a fictional depiction of a true event, we approached it as more educational than entertainment. We saw it, he asked questions, we answered them, and we moved on with life (realize you're talking to a mom who sat her 9 year old down and watched "Schindler's List" with him).
A dear friend told me she would NOT let her 11 year old see Titanic. Why? Because of the nude "drawing" scene and because of the sex scene in the car. Knowing this child had a room full of animated violent video games, watched "South Park" regularly, and had seen both the first and second "Godfather" movies, I clarified - the dead babies in the water were ok - the depictions of people pushing each other out of the way to save their own lives was ok - the ship sinking, killing 1200 people (and watching most of them drown) was ok - but the 30 second nude scene was out.
I have explained to my children that "PG-13" means just that - Parental Guidance...I have the right to research the movie, SEE the movie if I so choose, and veto the movie if I deem it inappropriate. There will be other movies, and other sleepovers, and DD will, eventually, get over this.
I don't actually think anyone over 25 is as 'dumb as dirt'. That would involve me thinking that my own parents, adults around me, and so forth are 'dumb as dirt'. I actually think that the kids around me are more deserving of that description.
I've lived a pretty sheltered life. I'm an only child, which has helped in blessing me with a very good relationship with my mother. She is my best friend, the person who makes me laugh like no other, and my confidante.
I could tell her everything that these parents on here post about their fears for their children - having sex, porn, alcohol, smoking and illicit drugs. I can tell her anything.
I'm just sorry that so many of your children would probably feel that they can't talk to their parents about the stickier situations teenagers have a way of getting themselves into. That's sad, and that's what leads kids into trouble - when they can't, or feel they shouldn't - talk to their parents about what they're going through.
I've never hit a parent, contracted an STI, done drugs, smoked or had sex. All of these, I've had ample opportunity to carry out. But why would I?
My group at school was not the popular group. Actually, we were the 'geek' group. I was sort of between worlds because I dressed nicely, wore makeup, and generally made an effort with my appearance, whilst my male peers tended to wear T-shirts labelled 'Slacker' and be glued to their PS2 controllers. I love my PS2, but I'm not glued to it.
Through my school years, my friends were not my primary confidantes, and I didn't learn about sex, drugs, smoking or alcohol from them. My mother told me, because she wanted to make sure that I could make informed decisions. She's not an idiot, and she didn't raise me to be one either. She is, however, a straight shooter, and calls it as she sees it. Since I possess fifty per cent of her genes, let's presume that I get that quality from her. She knows what I'm thinking before I do.
My dad is in the picture, my parents are married, and we live in a nice single-story home in a nice middle-class suburb. Fairly idyllic, on the whole. He doesn't really know how to relate to his daughter, who is not a little girl anymore. But that happens. It doesn't mean I can't tell him things and ask for his advice.
Let's also consider keeping in mind that I live in Australia. I notice that Australians, as a people, tend to be fairly laid-back and open-minded. I'm not saying that I come from a different planet, but I do come from a place that seems to be more easygoing.
Perhaps this explains why I couldn't care less if, in the film 'You, Me and Dupree', one of the characters does something related to masturbation. Why don't I care? I've known about sex for a fair number of years. Masturbation, while it is currently some sort of a taboo subject, doesn't bother me, and I can't imagine why it bothers anyone else. I'd just find it funny.
That film got an M15+ rating here, meaning that the Office of Film and Literature Classification (OFLC) deems it suitable for persons 15 years and over, but like your PG-bloody-13, (I have no patience for that rating) carries no legal weight.
I was watching 'The 40 Year-Old Virgin' on Christmas Day with my parents and one of my guy friends, and we were all laughing. It was funny, and it had a good message. But I'd hazard a guess that some of the parents on this board wouldn't be letting their teens see that film. Which is their loss, because I thought it was a lot deeper than it was purported to be.
But I digress. I suppose age - and maturity - are like shirts. You put it on one person and that person looks horrid. You put it on another and it suits them perfectly.
As parents, you are of course entitled to make decisions about which films your children see. But it seems to be this recurring idea that in the US, people would rather see someone's head get blown off rather than that same someone receive a blow job. Why is that?
Edited 12/28/2006 8:45 am ET by abbag1rl
Your post is full of several assumptions about the parents on this board and about Americans in general. For example;
"I'm just sorry that so many of your children would probably feel that they can't talk to their parents about the stickier situations teenagers have a way of getting themselves into."
Quite a broad and sweeping generalization about a group of families you know little about, wouldn't you say? The vast majority of parents I know have excellent relationships with their children, and the communication is routinely open and mutually respectful.
"But it seems to be this recurring idea that in the U.S., people would rather see someone's head get blown off rather than that same someone receive a blow job."
What "recurring idea" are you talking about? Whose idea? From where? Which source? Personally, I and every parent I know would rather not witness EITHER event on the big screen. Criticizing the alleged "violent" and "decadent" American culture is very fashionable around the world right now. Be careful to distinguish between the garbage that Hollywood spews out and the true sensibilities and values of the American people. The gulf that separates the two is as wide as the Pacific.
Sugar plum, the bottom line is that we don't want our kids watching masturbation and blow jobs for the same reasons that we don't want to watch someone grunting and straining on the toilet trying to have a bowel movement. Yes, all three acts are natural, but they should also remain private. To depict these acts on film is boorish and vulgar. To enjoy watching them betrays a coarse and juvenile streak in the viewer. Prudishness has absolutely nothing to do with it. Maturity and good taste has everything to do with it.
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