Mr. & Mrs.?
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Mr. & Mrs.?
| Sun, 11-06-2005 - 9:37pm |
Do you request your teens to address other adults as Mr. and Mrs.? I always do and also always refer to other adults as "Mr. M." or "Mrs. B." in conversation with my kids. Now, it's just how they think of other adults -- not by first names.
There has only been a couple of instances where the adult in question asked them to use a first name, but they weren't really comfortable doing so. They still refer to them as "Mr." and "Mrs." Because I ask my kids to use titles, I'm usually thrown off guard when one of their friends calls me by my first name. There is only one or two that do it regularly, but it just sounds and feels weird!
How do you ask your teens to address other adults?

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My kids refer to the adults in their lives as the adults prefer to be addressed.
I expect DD to always refer to Mr. or Mrs.
Even the boys at 22 and 25 use that. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but otherwise seems a tad too familiar.
As an aside, we went to the Renaissance festival last fall. All of the people were acting in period, so everytime I would buy something, they would say, "Thank you, m'Lord."
I told DW I could really get used to this "lord" crap, to which she promptly whapped me upside the head...
Exception if an adult asked to be called by a first name (which hasn't happened to my knowledge).
Actually, I don't really impose a standard. I have friends that have been friends for years and my children refer to them by their first names. Always have.
But a funny sidenote to that, where we did try to instill in them the importance of using Mr. and Mrs. When Tanner was about 3, we heard him in our 3rd bedroom yelling "Hi Elmo, Hi Elmo" repeatedly from the window. We went to investigate, and to our horror, he was yelling greetings to our NEIGHBOR. Talk about being mortified. We refered to our neighbors in very casual ways, because we didn't always know their names. We have a Nosy Joe (yes, his name is Joe, and yes he's VERY nosy), and we have 'smoker man' because we didn't know his name for a while, and he was a heavy, heavy smoker, etc..........and unfortunately, we DID know this particular neighbor's name and used the first name regularly when referring to him---unbeknownst to us, my precocious 3 yr old PAID ATTENTION to what we were saying and decided to loudly greet him as "Elmo" from our window..............yes, you got it, his name is really Elmer..............so needless to say, we learned smoker man's name, and began referring to all of our neighbors as Mr. and Mrs.------My husband is heavy into nicknames, and isn't terribly proficient at name recall, so we have all sorts of names used for people---that's how my cat got his name---Joe............years ago when my Dad would call, MY DH would hand me the phone saying, it's "jo pappa"-----then over the years he'd call and my DH would just shorten it to say "it's jo....." and so on....so when we took this cat from dad's farm, he was dubbed 'Joe'............so althought I don't advocate referring to people as names other than their given names, sometimes in our house, it just happens-----DH is just that way.
But other than that---I don't know what my kids call the parents of their school friends, and i don't mind if kids call me my first name. Some call me Mrs. some call me by my first name, some just come in and grunt and wave.
Shels
I'm one of the old fashion ones, I insisted on Mr & Mrs when my kids were growing up and it always bothered me when they were young & their friends used my first name. I think it just shows respect to someone in another generation. My oldest 2 are in their 20s and still call our best friends Mr & Mrs. Our best friends DS was in his 40s before he would call me by my first name and he is only 5 yrs younger than I am. My kids & I can be chatting about someone and I will use their first name but the kids automatically will use the Mr or Mrs. I'm ok with being called by by first name once the kids's friends reach their 20s.
Sometimes the need to be informal goes too far. My SIL's DS started calling her by her first name instead of Mom when he turned 18. He is married with 2 kids and I think it's sad he doesn't use Mom like his sisters. My SIL thinks its cool and a reflection of their great friendship. I think it's disrespectful and I'm not surprised that he doesn't feel a need to spend holidays with his Mom as she is just a "friend".
Dee
I always introduce adults to my kids using Mr/Mrs and leave it up to the adult to either accept that introduction or tell my kids they can call them by thier first name.
I don't mind older kids (say 14+) calling me by my first name, however, I think it's important when they are young to have them call you by the Mr/Mrs title. We're a pretty laid back family and I want the kids to feel comfortable in my home and in my presence. I don't want to come off as being someone they have be too careful around. They tend to open up to me more and I think it's due in part to us letting go of the formality of Mr/Mrs.
It depends. Teachers and parents of her friends are called Mr. and Mrs. The one exception to this is one of the carpool moms who insists on being called by her first name because "I haven't grown up yet" (UGH).
She calls some of our very close friends "aunt and uncle". She and dh are involved in community theater and everyone is addressed by their first names. That's just how it is and it would be strange to address them as Mr. and Mrs.
She always starts out addressing adults and Mr. and Mrs., but if she is asked to call them by their first name, she does.
jt (who STILL cannot call her childhood friend's parents by their first names - even when the ask her to do so....)
We're a bit old fashion here....it's Mr or Ms unless a request is made otherwise. My SS's called me Ms Sandy for 3 years!! I finially told them about 6 months ago to just call me Sandy. (Ms Sandy just seemed to impersonal)
My DD friends call me Mom. Now, while I'm not *thrilled* with being called Mom by a child I'm not raising, in a way I guess I am helping to raise them(i firmly believe in the village raising the child). All my kids friends know that I"m here, at the drop of a hat, if they need me.... I'm told kids just feel comfortable with me, that's why.
My DD has a friend that lives with her Aunt and Uncle, and she refers to them as "Aunt and Uncle"... they don't seem to mind.
My SS's refer to everyone as Mr or Ms... just they way they were brought up.
It all boils down to respect. Here in the south, a total stranger will say "yes 'mam" to me and I quickly tell them I'm not *that* old, and I always get the same reply, it's they way they were raised, always show respect.
S.
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