Music Lessons
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| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 12:07pm |
Posting about my younger DS, 12. I know he doesn't quite 'qualify' to be on this board yet, but I always appreciate the BTDT advice from parents of older teens.
DS has been taking drum lessons for about 2.5 years now. Two years ago, we invested in a pretty nice beginning Pearl drum set, his gift for his 10th birthday. He has been taking private lessons with an absolutely awesome instructor. We all just love him. At DS elementary school, and now middle school, there is no real music program. As a 7th grade student, (next year) he will be able to take band as his elective. Not the best middle school band on the planet, but still, he will be able to get some performance experiences.
The problem is that he is starting to lose interest, probably for about the past 6 months and I've had to remind him to practice constantly (read: nag) for quite some time. I don't feel it is fair to his instructor for him to show up for lessons unprepared, thus wasting everyone's time -- his, mine and the instructors'.
We've talked about him 'taking a break' through the summer, and that would be okay. I can see how drumming by oneself or to a music CD could get pretty dull after a while. I'm a little hesitant to let him take a break, because I fear he would never get back to it, and then would give it up all together. Considering the investment in the drum set and lesson $$ thus far, I think that would be a real shame. Plus, he's pretty darn good on those drums! He has been taught well and learned well and it shows when he does play. All along he has been saying he couldn't wait for 7th grade to play in the band, now he wants to take a different elective altogether.
I'm aware that as our children grow, their interests change. My parents never forced me to do anything and as a result, (or maybe not!) I often don't finish things I start. I gave up piano as a young teen and regret it. DD had to let her guitar lessons go when hs started because she just couldn't find the practice time and even getting to lessons was challenging and she wishes she hadn't. She also gave up dance right before ms, regrets it and wants to find some summer dance classes. I guess I just don't want DS to give it up music forever because I don't want him to regret it later. But I don't want to force him into doing something he doesn't want to do either. He's not saying he doesn't want to play anymore, just not investing time or interest into it, which says quite a lot.
Any BTDT experience? Anybody force their teens into continuing something they thought they wanted to quit and had the kids been thankful? Or had the opposite experience?
Thanks,
Julie

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Just my own experience as a teen and child. My parents forced my sister and I to take music lessons. It was about 8 years I think. I hated every minute of it (except at the beginning when it was a novelty). As soon as I could stop I did and have never had the interest to pick it up again.
I would never force a child to take music lessons. IMO there are things you force and things you don't. Music lessons is not one of those things. It can backfire on you.
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