My 12 yr old is now a TEENAGER!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
My 12 yr old is now a TEENAGER!!!
3
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 1:19am

Ok, I know that we've all have been teens at one time. We all have experienced different parenting...My husband and I have just entered the Parenting of a Teen!!! And attitudes ABOUND!!! What do you do about attitudes? His respect for others has been challenging and anytime we ground him, once he's OFF being grounded the attitude comes back QUICKLY!! Any suggestions? He's overall a good kid but just gets an attitude that sends me over the edge. I end up yelling because he argues EVERY point with WHY WHY WHY?


I am anticipating some AWESOME suggestions!!!


Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 7:58am

Have you tried actually allowing him to ask the why questions, so long as it's done in a respectful manner?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 10:39am

Welcome to the world of teenagers!!


It's actually a good thing that your DS is asking why... it's opening the door for you to explain your morals, values, and expectations and TEACH him about responsibility, maturity, ethics, moral and responsible behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 11:24am

I agree, Rose.... before I had teens, I really didn't think I "liked" teens, but somehow by the time mine got there, I loved teens.... Isn't it funny how that works. My oldest, DS, 19 was pretty close to the "perfect" child if such a thing exists.... He never ever gave me a moments worry. I tease him all the time about how he was "supposed" to as the first child train me and he didn't do a good job because he did everything right. Even with that being the case, at 13 (8th gr) we did have some of that attitude. Thru HS there were times when he would speak in a tone that wasn't acceptable and when called on it, honestly did not realize how he was coming across.


My middle child, DD, 16 was a real trial beginning in 8th gr (age 13) and honestly just in the last 6 months has grown and matured into a lovely young lady with whom you can have a discussion without it turning into an argument and who is making good choices. She needed much more guidance and more rules, and also more understanding.


My youngest, DD, 12 has just begun to get a bit of an attitude. The younger ones seem to grow up faster just because they have seen the older ones do it.


I think it is very important to know what is creating that attitude. It is never acceptable, but just like adults, kids can simply be having a bad day or a bad week. They can fee stress, PMS, and all the other things we adults feel. And while their bad attitude is unacceptable, so is, as a parent, to simply expect it to disappear because we don't like it. It takes a lot more on the part of parents than just that or they will rebel in ways we never imagined.... especially the kids that have that "rebellious" heart to begin with.