my 14yr. old still wetting the bed

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Registered: 04-11-2007
my 14yr. old still wetting the bed
10
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 4:44pm

I have a 14 year old son, Josh, who is smart, funny, cute, and sometimes michtivious. But he has a big problem. He still wets his bed almost every night. We will have spells where he will be dry for nights at a time then suddenly be wet again. We had a terrible time potty training him and he wasn't fully trained until he was 7. Also, he won't wear goodnites or pull ups. He says that they are for babies and refuses to wear them so he has a plastic matress cover.

Another problem he has is that he doesn't wake up after his accidents so in the morning he will not only be wet and cold but he will have been for hours. We are going to a uriologist but she isn't really helping. She has a terrible time with Josh because he wants a male doctor because he is very modest and doesn't want a female doctor to look at his privates. I have told him hundreds of times that she sees boys every day and she doesn't care, but he still does.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 4:55pm

Is there a male doctor he could switch to?

Now I'm afraid that if I put this on here, someone will pull it as a violation, which it is NOT meant to be, but it's also NOT an endorsement as I really don't know a thing about it, technically - one of the engineers I used to work with here in STL and McDonnell Douglas quit quite a while back and moved to Colorado, and started his own company that makes something called the 'potty pager'. I don't know if it works -honest. But maybe it's something alternative to look into (online).

Best of luck.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 5:37pm

I would take him to a male doctor. He is 14 and well, if he feels more comfortable with a male, it will only help.

Has he been accessed for hormone problems? It might not be a problem that a uriologist can help with. Have you had him accessed by a sleep specialist? Sometimes it has to do with the quality of the sleep.

The other thing (and I am not criticising.. I have seen this happen in my extended family).. is there an underlying emotional issue he is dealing with? How has his problem being approached? Sometimes the very understandable frustration of those arround ther person with the problem can make the problem worse.

It is very important that he feels that he is ok. He might have a problem but it is not unsurmountable. It can be overcome with understanding and support. I am sure that he is just as frustrated with himself. There are a surprising number of people in their teens and even older that have this problem.

Keep the plastic on the bed (but periodically wash it.) Let him have a pair of clean sheets and PJs and towels in his room. Say nothing if he has an accident but let him change his own bed and clothes. Let him wash them himself in the washing machine. It will help with his self-estime.

The other thing is to make sure he has a "structured" life. In other words, he goes to bed about the same time each night so he gets a good night's rest. Keep the softdrinks & caffeine-laden drinks to a minimun.

By the way, these gadgets never work. He could very well not have enough of the hormone in his blood stream to help him "hold it" or his bladder has to be trained to "hold it".

Good luck Mom & try not to worry. The problem will be solved

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 5:50pm
I think if at all possible you should get him into a male doctor.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 6:22pm

This doesnt sound like a job for a urologist to me. I would find a doc who specializes in adolescents or utilize a knowledgeable pediatrician-male, certainly. I mean he should be waking up after the fact which tells me there is a sleep disorder or something more than a urinary tract problem here

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 8:15pm
I'm not sure if I am reading your message correctly. Are you saying that he was "fully trained" for some period of time after the age of 7? Has this problem recently resurfaced? We have had some experience with this also, and I would echo the other posters who suggested that there might be some underlying emotional issues going on. If that's the case, then once those issues are addressed, the situation should improve. I would also switch him to a male urologist since there's no point adding to his discomfort and embarrassment. A visit to a pediatrician might offer a broader perspective on all the possible things that could be going on. Good luck. I know how upsetting and frustrating this can be, but I'm sure you'll find the answer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 4:36am

First off, let him go to a doctor he's comfortable with. I don't know why that would be an issue. You probably have your reasons, but I'd switch to a male doctor if that's what he wants and might open up to more.

Secondly, I had terrible problems growing up. After doctor, after another doctor, one finally discovered my bladder had never grown since I was a baby. It was stretched during a short hospital stay, and wa la, I never had a problem again.

Good luck with your son. I hope his recovery will be as easy as mine.

zz

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 8:26am

JMO but I would respect your son's wishes and get him a male urologist.

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 8:45am

I had the same problem. When I was 7 and still wetting the bed, my mom took me to a doctor, and after an ultrasound, it was discovered that my bladder was still the size of a 2 year old's.

The fact that this boy doesn't even wake after he's had an accident seems to speak more to a sleep disorder than a urinary disorder, although both could be present.

ElizabethJ

Avatar for jobismom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 10:47am

We had the opposite problem for dd - most of the urologist in our area were men, then the pedi found a woman who also has a nurse practitioner who's a women so we lucked out. The urologist isnt the nicest person but the NP is wonderful.

I would definately get hime to someone he is comfortable with and someone with experience with childrens bedwetting as well.

My dd uses a generic sleep pant that has no designs on it and is more comfortable they are the CVS store brand (if you have a CVS in your area).

Best of Luck, Terry mom to 13 yr old dd - wet every night

 Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 11:39am

My oldest was 13ish when she finally stopped wetting the bed. We didn't try any gadgets, but did take her to the family dr. when she was about 9 or so. He didn't seem to worry about it, said everyone grows at their own pace and as long as her self esteem didn't seem hurt by it to not make a big deal out of it. So, I didn't worry about it. She did eventually outgrow it, wore night-time undies and changed her sheets until she did. I seem to recall him mentioning something about a medicated nasal spray that could be used to help if she really needed it.

If he were my son, I would probably find some male physician, pediatrician, family practitioner, urologist, someone male to take him to, just so he will feel better. Would be great to have a complete physical for him, not just focus on that.

Sallie

p.s. DD is a very sound sleeper, also. I honestly feel that this contributed at least in part with her prolonged wetting. When she would be awake, she could feel the urges and just go to the bathroom. Now, when I am up during the early morning hours for work, I will often see her up and going to the bathroom. HTH