My daughter and her Father-(Long Post)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2006
My daughter and her Father-(Long Post)
1
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 2:37pm
Hi everyone, well here goes....
My 13 yr. old daughter, Keara has visitation w/ her dad every other weekend and various holidays. He's had visitation through her whole life, but has now just decided to use it. He has seen her before this, but at his convenience. Which has been fine with me due to the fact that he isn't a very nice person. Keara absolutely HATES having to go see him and her stepmom(who treats my daughter like crap), but has to go due to the court order. Keara's dad, at my request, was requested to go to counseling w/ Keara and has yet to do so. But if i go file a contempt of court order, it'll take 6 months just to get a court date, and he'll go right before we have to go to court. He always does this, so then i go in looking like an idiot. I tell my daughter that her dad loves her and sometimes people try the best they can and maybe this is the best he can do right now. But to be totally honest w/ you all..he's an ass, he's very mentally abusive and he has been physically abusive w/ her as well. I've had to call Child Services on him and his wife a number of times, but then they go and visit him and unsupport my claims against him. I don't know what to do or what to tell her....I am at a total loss. I also know that my daughter loves her father very much and sometimes tries to "play" us both..sometimes exaggerating things that were said to her...I don't believe she would ever exaggerate the physical harm that has been done to her though..i am confident in this.
I guess I am asking for some advice or suggestions...anything at all would be greatly appreciated...negative or positive.
Thanks.
Kimmie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 8:32pm
That's a tough situation and I don't know much about the laws, but doesn't your daughter have the right to decided whether or not she goes to visit her father? I would think that by the age of 13 she would have some rights. If you are claiming that he is verbally and physically abusive, how about supervised visits? Do these claims have to be proven before that would happen?
Peace,
Susan