My daughter is being bullied!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2006
My daughter is being bullied!!
34
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 11:12am

We just moved to a very small town in Idaho from Raleigh, NC. My daughter's high school where she is a freshman only has 450 kids in the whole school.
The first week went fine she met a girl named Brandee and they became friends. Well, Brandee decided to transfer to the "alternative" school, and suddenly this "gang" of girls started picking on my daughter.
They threatened to beat her up if she remained friends with Brandee. My daughter simply told her that her friends were her friends and that she was not going to fight about it.
They called my home and the mother even threatened me, for no apparent reason.
I filed 2 police reports, talked with the principal and one of the girls was suspended for 3 days.
Yesterday the sister of the girl that got suspended was shoving my daughter in the back during class and throwing things at her. I told the principal, he basically ignored it.
I am not going to take this.
Our teens and all other children deserve to learn in a safe environment, and not be afraid to go to school.
I have created an online petittion if anyone cares to sign. We must put an end to this.
Gone are the days of simple name calling, now we have to worry about weapons in our schools and the number of teens that commit suicide due to bullying is on the rise.
Let's end this NOW.

Samantha
http://www.petitiononline.com/antibull/petition.html

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 7:38pm
This is almost like being bullied and not by you coffeelover or a few others, but alot of you have just blatently harassed me for no reason. NOWHERE did I ask you to sign the petition, I said "If you care to" that was all. What is this?
Parents who newly have a bullied child can't come to a board for support????
This is so middle-school LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 10:09pm

Samantha,

I was going to respond when you first posted, then decided to hold off. It wasn't too much later that things went in a very strange direction. For that, I am sorry. Generally speaking, this is a very supportive board and the folks that post here seem to be truly good people.

Because of my personality - I am very much of an "action" person, i.e. "don't mess with my kid", plus I usually see things from a legal perspective, my advice was going to be, and now is: hire a lawyer. Ask him or her to write a letter to the principal, with a copy to the school board. The letter should insinuate legal action if the threats and/or bullying are/is not immediately handled by the school. If deemed appropriate, have the attorney send a similar letter to the bullying child's parents. IMO opinion, there is nothing wrong with a petition, EXCEPT it takes too d*mn long to get results. Your dd will be out of college before the U.S. Congress will take any meaningful action.

You may also wish to role play with your dd some ways she can respond back to her tormenters. But if you are serious about "not going to take this", then I'd take legal action rather than expect to resolve things through a petition.

BTW, I truly do wish you a warm welcome to the board!

Amelia

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 10:36pm

Thank you Amelia.

I am also very much a "don't mess with my kid" type of parent. I refuse to put up with it.
The lawyer idea is a great one, thanks so much!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 7:53am

Im on another board where one HAS to introduce themselves in a separate area before they post-if not, the posts are deleted.

And its a board about dogs, believe it or not!

I dont think that is appropriate for IVillage(or a dog board) but I do want to echo that we do indeed have folks just hop on a board and try to sell something; there was just one selling marriage videos on another board I visit here. There was no indication the link listed was going to take you to a sales site-it was intentionally misleading

And, being a teen board, we also manage to get teens masquerading as parents. Granted, these usually are sexually related questions :) but yes, there is actually a 'real' reason posts can sometimes be dissected when we dont recognize the name

Sorry if it made you feel unwelcome or unheard.

If your dd is being bullied to the point you are worried about her safety, I think it is important you take action at a local level. Go up the chain of command; walk in to the local police station and lay out your situation;meet with your dd's counselor. I found my sons counselor had a pretty good idea of which kids were doing what(although some, including mine, managed to stay under the radar)If there is a gang, s/he is the one who is going to know it.

I had a bad experience in a small town as well. I think we have this "Mayberry" media vision of small towns where we expect the sheriff to shake our hands and Aunt Bee to be at our door with warm bread. Big cities? Well, we have our media inspired visions of those too and they tend to be negative so we perhaps have lower expectations(We went to D.C. for our vacation and I must've talked about how friendly and wonderful the people were 15 times)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 9:37am

I have already filed 2 police reports and have met with the principal. One girl involved was suspended for 3 day (she comes back today...great)

I agree with you on both small and large cities. I was so afraid to go to NYC the 1st time I went and now it is one of my favorite cities in the country. People there really are so friendly.

And yes we do have visions of Aunt Bee in small towns, but it's just not like that at all.

Thanks
Sam

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 12:01pm
Hi Samantha and welcome to the board.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 12:13pm
Thank you fo rmaking me feel more welcome :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 7:36pm

Sheesh, Pam, did you HAVE to mention him?? I'd just about forgotten about that nightmare! ;)


As for Aunt Bea, I'm not so sure she exists anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 7:40pm
How could we every forget??? I wonder who he is terrorizing now ....


Edited 9/12/2006 7:57 pm ET by hydrangea_blue

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 9:33pm
I also moved my family from a city to a small town just as my son was starting high school. First thing I learned. Same problems, smaller enviroment. My son, who is a pretty good kid got picked on fairly soon. Okay, new kid and all that. Next thing I knew I got a call from the police. My son had been assaulted and was on the way to the ER via EMS. He was beat up but survived. I found out that the boys who has jumped him had threatened him at school that day. The principal knew this and failed to call us and alert us to the situation. That was their first mistake. I called the school and demanded a meeting with the principal, any staff that witnessed the threats, and the superintendant. My husband and I showed up with our badly beaten son and an attorney and asked for an explanation. They were exteremely upset and rather concerned I believe with a lawsuit. They expelled the boys for three days. After three days the threats continued. I went before the school board and demanded that my child be given a safe enviroment to learn in and gave them a written statement that demanded a reply in three business days. On day two I recieved a call from the superintendant. They had found money to hire a police liason officer for the high school, ordered six walkie talkies for the staff, re-wrote their policy on threatening behavior and assault, and agreed to send the boys to the alternative school. However the parents of the boys did not like that idea. The attorney for the schools met with their attorneys behind closed doors and the result was that two of the boys went to the alternative school and the ring leader was suspended out of the district. Did it stop there? Nope. Another almost assault, charges were pressed on my son's behalf. Two years in the court system. My son's high school years were damaged because of this but we would not and could not back down. You cannot allow the bullies to win. Make a lot of noise. Circulate your petition around town. Make yourself known to the school. Enlist the eyes and ears of a few trusted teachers. I'm usually a pretty passive person by nature but, don't try and hurt my babies or you will be dealing with more than you wanted to. All in all it turned out well in the end. And the staff at the school were very happy with the new secure enviroment.