Is My Daughter A Quitter?
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Is My Daughter A Quitter?
| Thu, 10-05-2006 - 11:32am |
Hi, my dd17 is having problems with keeping up with school. When she was in grade school, it sometimes took two of us to get her to school. She spent hours each night doing her homework. She had problems understanding, but mostly she was such a perfectionist. Every t crossed, i dotted. If she erased too many times, now there's a hole in the paper and it can't be handed in, and the next morning it meant h*ll to get her to school. When her dad died, she ended up repeating a grade, and then we moved. She loved her new school and made great progess. That, unfortunately was short-lived. A couple of years later, she hit her head trying to skateboard down a few stairs (yeah, family party, didn't bring the helmet...). She has had memory and concentration problems, headaches along with various aches and pains. After two years, she was still frustrated with her problems, so we started different therapies, all which I believe will eventually help. The biggest problem, and sorry for the long explanation, is that as soon as she starts getting behind in a subject, she starts making excuses, staying home from school sick, etc. She socializes, and we've ruled out depression, but I don't know how to get her to understand she has to put more time and effort into her school work, especially because Drs appts many times end up during class time. I see the pattern every time she starts something new. She's all gung-ho, and as soon as it gets tough, she grabs a suitcase (so to speak), and leaves. This is a terrible habit, and I don't know what to do. She is failing almost all of her classes again this year.

Sounds like a frustrated perfectionist.
I have similar difficulties with my DD almost 15. When she has something important to do she gets sick, has mysterious stomach aches and headaches. Last year she missed half the days she was supposed to wear her ROTC uniform to school because she was "sick". I never know if she is really sick or just nervous and being so hard on her self. Last year on the night of the Navy Ball she was crying that she didn't want to go. This was after weeks of excitement about getting the right dress, hair done and then when it comes time to go - she's sick again. Well, that night I pretty much forced her to go and she had a good time.
We have never had her to any counselors because she gets hysterical when we try to talk abut and says we think she is crazy. So I just keep talking to her and encourage her. Last year she almost failed 9th grade English because she couldn't get the required research paper done. She was totally overwhelmed and freaked out and lied to both us and her teacher about ther progress she was making.
Sorry to go on and on but it is good to know that other teens are going through similar things.
Jane