My dd is gone

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
My dd is gone
13
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 10:52pm

My dd called. the 19 year old one. aparently she talked to her dad and told him she wouldn't be home till sunday. he agreed without speaking to me first.

when I called her to remind her that her curfew was at 12 and she had better be home by then she then told me she wouldn't be home till sunday. i told her if she wasn't here by her curfew tonight then she would have no home here that i would take her things and drop them off at her friends house. my husband isn't speaking to me. I feel like a piece of dry wall that is crumbling because the support beams behind it aren't strong enough to hold it in place. now i'm feeling if i don't put a steel wall there to help suport the wall that the wall (meaning my family ) will crumble. i'm trying to push the stell wall in place and dh is on one side trying to push it away while the other kids are on the other side pushing the other way and i'm stuck in the middle trying to hold it there.

it's been several hours as this has started and we get calm periods through the night and then they become humungous outbursts. i want to stay awak until 12 to see if my dd comes in and if not i will lock the doors and while everyone is away at work or school tomorrow i will be boxing and bagging her things up.

Robin

Robin

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 7:49pm

I might be breaking with the pack here, but your 19 y/o DD supposedly is old enough to make her own choices... and if they're horrible ones, then she needs to suffer the consequences of them, even if it's big fines or probation... or god forbid, jail time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 6:59pm

When we origionally sold our house about 3 years ago we lived in a town home and we lived ontop of each other. the kids were all fo sellihg the house. what we didhn't realize how fast it happeed and that we whould have to rent for a while. I couldj't find a house to rent in at the same area so they would still be able to go to the school. well we moved just befoe school sarted and we rented a house ina beautiful place. the rental house wa twic the size that we lived in befoe d he fighting wasnt' that bad then. the we told the kids we wew looking for a house to guy. why were happy about it. and couldn't wait till they could see the houses from outside. i drw pictures of the insides s best I coul Well we settled on one house nd it was bran new and was bigger then the one we sold but not as big ss the one we were rent it. they were excited about it being a brand new home and they were anxious to meet new kids. so we ended up buyihng. the kids weren't thrilled with it because it is a 3 bedroom rancher. so they have to double up on the rooms. I told them look you guy aren't foingt o be here forever and it's the perfect size for me and ooudad to taie care of. well their nam excause their room wasnt't painted then they had to give up their room nd sleep in the family room so my sil (sh's sister) ad her extremly handicapped son could move in with aus among his tuns of supplies. wwell we also had to deal with nurses coming and being part of the family.

So my SIL moved out and it wasn't on very good terms and there are other things too it. my dh and I have turned 41 and 40 and we threw this big huge party for him for his 4th and all i fot was a fw bottles of bubble bath and half of a cake that had the sellby date on it for a few days ago which two of my children couldn't have because of their food allergy to peanuts. so i've been harbording that guilt for all year. see birthdays are soecuak ti ne, as a kik i did get to have birthday cakes because my parents and my family always told m e i was too fat and ugly to have a birthday cake. so ive always make dure theat my kids had somethingfor their birthday. so his 42st this year we had a surprise dinner for his which he ws happy. so when my 40th came around i expected to atleast see a few face and have a birthday candle on a cake but nope yardl tose are what =my birthdays have been like sense i've been a little kid. I afraid to hope that he will even do something even hot dogs and having everyone over would just bright my day and make the best day ever.

Robin

Robin
Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 10:19am

Robin, in 32 years of marriage my DH has never thrown me a birthday party and never will. That doesn't make him a terrible person. He just doesn't do stuff like that. So I taught my kids what to do and how important it was to think of others. The kids threw a wonderful dinner party complete with invitations for our 25th wedding anniversary. They were 20, 18 & 14. Then for my 50th this year, they threw a huge bar-b-que party for 50 guests that shocked most of my family & friends with the food they prepared, the venue and even the party favours they created. They made CDs with music from my teen years.

You can't blame your DH for all of this. You have to ensure that kids understand that you are a person too & they need to show their appreciation. After reading all your notes, I truly hope you are in counseling and that at least the younger kids are joining you.

Dee

Pages