My ds the expert on handicap placards...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
My ds the expert on handicap placards...
10
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 11:53am

Well..summer has come to an end and my ds 17 has returned from his dads to finish the school year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 1:00pm

Hugs to you. He wouldn't understand why my sister has one, either. She is a severe asthmatic and if she's having a bad breathing day any extra walking can trigger an attack. Like you - she doesn't always use it, either. If he brings it up again tell him to go do some research. I think the laws may vary by state; one of the first ones that came up when I google it was NY and here is their qualifying disabilities:

  1. Use of portable oxygen;
  2. Legal blindness;
  3. Limited use, or no use, of one or both legs;
  4. Inability to walk 200 feet without stopping;
  5. A neuro-muscular dysfunction that severely limits mobility;
  6. A Class III or IV cardiac condition (American Heart Association standards);
  7. Severe limitation in the ability to walk due to an arthritic, neurological or orthopedic condition;
  8. Restriction because of lung disease to such an extent that forced (respiratory) expiratory volume for one second, when measured by spirometry, is less than one liter, or the arterial oxygen tension is less than sixty mm/hg of room air at rest;
  9. Any other physical or mental impairment not previously listed which constitutes an equal degree of disability, and imposes unusual hardship in the use of public transportation and prevents the person from getting around without great difficulty.

That's sure more than 'in a wheelchair'. Hang in there - hopefully maturity will start to kick in soon....

Pam
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 2:32pm

As I recall, you were having problems with your son, which is why he went to live with his Dad. Since you brought him back, I'm guessing it was either because he was also been having problems with his Dad, OR you decided his dad was letting him get out of control, and you pulled rank.

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 3:02pm

You know this is one of those things that people of any age don't get.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 3:06pm
Yes, that is pretty much the same list in my state. Hopefully maturity will kick in soon as you say, I have my fingers crossed!!
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 3:09pm
<<>> Remember, PERSONALITY is inherited also, and 50% of your son's, came from your EX. So remember that he is your ex's son also, and why exactly you DIVORCED him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 3:10pm
No...ha!! he is here because his dad feels there are more *opportunities* where we live, better school etc. I would have made him walk home, but we were in another town for dinner:) Yes, I do admit he pulls my chain with his behavior, does it with the entire family and his dad told him to knock it off as well. RA is sometimes passed down and my dd14 has an appointment at the end of August with a pedi rheumatologist for her joint pain and positive rheumatoid factor..maybe that is why I found it to be so insulting. You are correct though, this will not be the last time it happens, he seems to go out of his way to be antagonistic.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 4:37pm
Oh Sabr..I love it, and you know why?! Because when I picked ds up at our half way meeting point, we stayed to chat a few minutes and the ex and I were talking with ds about how he needs to stop holding grudges and let things go and the ex told my ds, he is just like his mother when it comes to grudges (me) and I turned to my ex and said if I were one to hold grudges, I wouldn't have forgiven a husband that cheated on me (my current dh). This shut him up in a hurry! Yes, this is true he is half of my ex, and there is only so much one can do!! We will plug along and make the best of this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 11:54pm

A certain amount of this is due to his age, so I would just remain silent as if I did not hear it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 11:21am
Thanks Kimmy..and I don't think you are selfish for thinking you never want to need a placard! Who would?! Before I was diagnosed with RA..I didn't even know what it was or give arthritis a thought. I like Mark Twain's take on it, and my oldest has become human again, so there is hope down the road!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 8:25pm

Lots of people think they're experts on those placards. My brother and SIL have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who breathes through a tracheostomy instead of her nose/mouth, so they have to carry oxygen everywhere, as well as a suction device and other medical gear for emergencies. So they've had a placard since her birth. But when this little girl gets out of the car, she's running and jumping and behaving normally. If you didn't see the hole in her neck with the device coming out of it, you wouldn't know how medically fragile she is. And yes, they've had both rude looks and comments. The bottom line is most people don't know what disability really looks like.