My Family is Driving me CRAZY

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
My Family is Driving me CRAZY
12
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 11:50am

There are just some days when I want to quit, you know? Strike...leave this place....tell all these people in this house to make their own meals, wash their own clothes, pay their own bills....ARRGH.

I am not a stay-at-home mom and yet I feel like I do everything around here...job 1 during the day and job 2 at night and weekends. I constantly have to tell people what to do -- pick up their clothes off the floor, clean up their dinner dishes, put their clean laundry away...heck I even have to tell my almost 16 yo dd when its time for her to change her contact lenses!

I've been after my husband for weeks to get his son's bike repaired. Today he decides to go (finally). He comes home says its only going to be $10. I'm shocked -- the gears are shot, the wheel has a hole in it. He looks at me with this strange look on his face; it appears he took the WRONG BIKE. He actually brought a bike my son hasn't used in 2 years because its too small for him and his current bike is still in the garage. "How was he supposed to know", I get. Ummm....you don't even pay attention to the bike your own son rides? Just goes to show.

I really worry sometimes you know? If I were to get ill or god forbid have some fatal accident nobody in this house would have a clue how to take care of things. My husband has never paid a bill. My kids do not manage their own schedules outside of school commitments. And when I point out what they need to be doing all I get is whining, moaning and groaning and "Do I have to?"'s.

I am going to just explode I tell ya...thanks for listening...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 3:30pm
OK OK OK Take a deep breath, count to ten and stop!
I have been there and you have my sympothy, but there could be a good solution.
Sit down list all the things that have to be done around the house. Dusting, dishes, putting away towels, cleaning the bathrooms & bedrooms ect...
Make yourself a graph with each day of the week on top, each family members name on the side, now divide the chores among each of you. Next you will need to sit down with the family and explain to them that you need their help and each of them will be asked to do certian things on certian days.
I did this and it has helped so much. I work full time and go to school full time we have 7 children between us 2 of his live with their mother, 2 of his live with us, 1 of mine lives with her father the other on her own, plus we have a 3 y/o at home. I don't think that I have had to take out the trash more than 3 times in the last year, I don't load or un-load the dishwasher, I don't put away their clothes and I clean the bathroom only once every 2 weeks! The 3 y/o helps put away a few toys but until he gets a little older we all have to pick up after him. I also stuck in game night and movie night, on these nights we take turns picking the game/movie. that way each of us has a chance to see/play a favorite and we have some family time. (not working well right now 'cause we have a teen who thinks he is an adult and family doesn't matter)
You might want to discuss this with your husband before you do it though, the men don't see what we do they just expect it will be done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 7:42pm
Hey Diamondslb,
I hear where you are coming from and the thing that has worked for me, is that I announce I am going on strike. I do not cook for anyone except myself, I only do my laundry and clean my things. I also do not drive my children anywhere unless they can pay the going taxi rate, of at least $4.oo one way. After 2 weeks of this, my husband usually gets the kids together cleans everything and has a mom appreciation day!.. The next time I announce I am going on strike, everyone starts pitching in. I also post day jobs with a $ figure attached. The deal is that if you sign up for the job, and then forget or do not do it, then you must do it unpaid for 2 weeks.
I must say this keeps them active and I don't feel like I am the human ATM machine, without getting anything in return.
Good luck

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