My heart is breaking with college age son

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2011
My heart is breaking with college age son
32
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 12:27am

I am so sad...I am a mom of 3 boys but my oldest is 18, almost 19.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 8:27pm

I think it's important that kids have a little skin in the game.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 8:34pm

Why is he living in an apartment rather than in the dorms?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 9:38pm

My oldest did something similar but we were not as patient(not saying that was the right decision).

We pulled him out after the first semester. He came home and was told he had 6 months to decide what he wanted to do. We would pay for school(a less demanding school) but not support him if he chose not to go to school. And somehow I did not see just how manipulative that strategy was!

I suppose I fully expected him to see the light, go back to school and get straight A's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 9:34am

windrush, I really wish you'd write your son a long letter telling him how you feel about the disconnect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 9:48am
That's a great idea, fullmom! I know in the spring of 2009 when Justin moved in with Danielle, stopped going to school, she got pregnant, etc. I was SO angry with him. I could barely even stand to have him around during that time. I just wanted it all to go away. It put a huge strain on our relationship. I prayed so hard for them to break up, him to move back home and all of a sudden decide to go back to school and be a model student... But then I realized I was praying for the wrong thing and when I prayed for peace and healing I was able to let it go. I wrote him a long letter and told him that no matter what I loved him. That I may not agree with all his choices but that I loved him and I was proud of him for taking responsibility for his child, working, etc. It helped get our relationship back on track. I hope Windrush considers writing to her ds, too. It could make a huge difference.
Pam
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 10:19am

I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through all this.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 12:10pm

Hi.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2011
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 12:34pm

wow...how nice to have someone who really understands.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 8:50pm

I know you've gotten a lot of advice, but I just wanted to throw in

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2011
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 8:59pm

You have described my son almost to a T. In your first few lines I thought I