My son, the slug......

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
My son, the slug......
58
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 8:33am

Well, my son is almost 17 and a Jr. in

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 8:40am

Does he drive or at least want to?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 9:03am
He drives, but doesn't have his own car yet.
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 9:10am
Another idea - ds didn't want to do anything this summer other than work, and that was only 25-30 hours/week, so he again had a load of free time w/o school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 11:34am

I will probably have an unpopular opinion, and I acknowledge that my kid is only 13 yo.

That being said, I'd:

Cut off his allowance and spending money, if he gets any. He can get a job for extra money since he has all this free time to just sit around.

Say nothing about extra-curriculars unless he brings up college, and then just remind him that he'll need some on his application or he won't get in. So in other words, remind but don't nag.

I'd tell him today that if he doesn't make it into a college, that he'll be expected to be working full-time after high school. Tell him that six months after the last day of high school, if he's not attending college or working full-time, then he'll be kicked out and will have to fend completely for himself.

Just my two cents. Feel free to ignore it, LOL. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 12:33pm
I do not force my kids to do anything. If they want to participate in an activity they can. See I am different then most parents. I don't have parental blocks on any of the computers in my household, I don't check their cell phone messages, and I don't go through their rooms. I trust them to make the right decisions. If they are at home doing homework, watching tv, or playing on the computer then I know where they are at and what they are doing. In saying that I broke a pattern in my family where I am not a grandmother at 35. My oldest sister got pregnant that made my mother a grandmother at 34, my sister became at grandmother at 35(I have a 19 yr old niece with 3 kids)
I have a 17yr old Senior and his interest is computers. He will be going to the Community College for 2 yrs and then transfer for his last 2. In doing it that way we will be saving about $20,000 for college. Maybe that would be an option for your son.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 1:09pm
CC may very well be a good option for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 1:14pm
I think you have very valid points and I agree with almost all of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 1:29pm

What about suggesting he do some type of volunteer work?

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 2:30pm

Your son is doing good in school.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 3:01pm

<<>>

You're far from alone. I figured that my opinion would not be a popular one.

<<>>

Yes, I would. Both my skids, even my mentally retarded step-son, were living on their own before their 19th birthdays. My step-son moved out a month after he turned 18, and my step-daughter moved out two weeks after high school graduation when she was about 18.5 yo. They both had full-time jobs, were done school for the foreseeable future, and they both wanted to live independently.

My DS is 13yo and already knows how it will go for him once he's finished high school. He can continue his education and continue to live at home, or get a job and move out. Time to study, or time to fly little bird.

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