my son tested positive for pot :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
my son tested positive for pot :(
28
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 5:21pm
OMG, i knew something was up, i have a 16 yr ds and i was suspisious so i told him he had to have a urynalisis to as part of his physical...the pediatrician's office told my by phone the results..my stomach was in knots so i went to pick up a copy to confront my son w/it and i asked to speak to the doc..well, i ofcourse had to wait and after 1 hr, someone finally noticed i was still waiting..i guess nobody bothered to tell his nurse that i was waiting to see him, anyway, i did not mind waiting cuz it gave me time to relax , breath, think, and as i was sitting there, all those toddlers were coming and going , tears from fever, crying from shots, but when the mom handed them the lollipop at the counter after the apt, they was thrilled and smilling...i would take those days back in an instant and do it all different. God, what did it do that brought my son to not know better? i noticed his mood swings and tired all the time so that is why i asked for a toxicology/drug screen i just had a bad feeling...it came back positive for pot. we have not spoken to my son yet. the doc gave me urin bottles and i can test him in 30 days to see if he's clean...i have a counseling apt already set for him before i even got these results cuz i just did not like the way he was acting but he is refusing to go. now that i have this info, i may have more leverage to make him go. the doc said just if it was positive for something, be thinkful it's pot and not herion or crack or coke. .. i would just be happy w/sugar shock from too much candy. how do we handle this w/him? where do we go from here? anyone that has gone through this i would really like to know what you did and how you made out. thanx for listening...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 1:52pm
thank you all for your support .this is the only place i can get it..my husband is not too patient w/my worries and my changing my mind on things all the time..i can't talk to friends..i did confide in by brother, my husband would be mad if he knew i did but i work w/him so he is the closest brother to me and he himself just went through tough times w/his dd and i was there to help him...many a nights i sat at his home as he huddled crying on the couch that he daughter had sucidal thoughts and was acting just dangerous to herself..we even held her down once...omg, where do we find our strengh??? well, i'm finding it here. all of you have so many kind words and this i need..yes, i remember highschool, i did it too, smoking at the circle, skipping school and drinking, boys, but when it's your own child, your scared! i do believe he will make the right decisions , i hope and not put himself in a bad situation. my fear also is he has issues to begin with and takes zoloft. i will keep the lines of communication open w/him and i am encouraging my husband to sit daiily even if it's 3 minutes just to let him know we care . i truly love you all for your support., God Bless and peace for now, Cedar
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 2:13pm

When our ds went through that phase last year he said the same thing - that he wouldn't promise not to stop using drugs.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 2:55pm

I don't have any btdt experience with drugs, but my dd was on meds briefly for depression (Wellbutrin) and one of the most important things to the dr. was to know that my dd wasn't using drugs - the combination of drugs and meds can be dangerous - she went so far as to suggest a random drug test even though we have had no evidence that dd has ever used drugs. I would be extremely worried about the pot use and not just because of it being a "gateway" drug but because of the mix of it (and you have to know that you don't always know what else is in there with the pot) with the Zoloft is dangerous. I imagine you have already talked to his psychiatrist about this - as being on meds he must be monitored. How did you get him to go to those exams?

While I do agree that you have to keep the lines of communication open - something about this just doesn't sit right with me, as a parent. Your child tells you he's going to continue to use pot and you're supposed to be okay with that, continue to allow him the same privileges you always have - i.e., use of your computer, home, food, electricity, clothing, car, gasoline, insurance....the list is endless, unless he pays for alot of these things himself. I would be angry; it's pretty "nervy" to say something like that to your parents; okay, it's "honest" but...if I were you I would take Pat's advise and start severely limiting his time with friends and other privileges. You just can't be your son's friend right now. He's going to hate you, and tell you that, don't fall for it. He'll always love you, especially when he's an adult and remembers how you saved him from himself...good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 3:29pm
how did i get him to take what exams?? you mean the uryinalsis? it was his regular check up and we told his doctor that he's been feeling sick and he just told him to watch his diet and stuff and jus the following day we had that explosion was when in the back of my mind i had a suspision and the timing was right..i called the pediatrician that Monday, his ck up was on a friday and i spoke w/him and told him i was concerned and told him why and that i wanted a toxicology drug screan on him..so i pick up the script. i was to pick him up from school that day and go to the bank and open up an account w/him but i dropped off the script at the lab first and explained to the girl what i was doing and did not want my son to know what the test was for so i passed the bank and my son got upset and said what are you doing? and i just said the nurse called they forgot to give me a script to have your urine tested to see if you have an infection or anything that might be making you have the upset stomach on the mornngs..he was a little resistent and was like, you tricked me and i said "come on, it'll only take a few minutes so he went in and did it...a few days later i called and they told me he tested positive for pot. my son did not ask me how i knew , we just told him we know this cuz of his attitude change and then he admitted..he has no clue about the results.i am not my son's friend , I am his mother and he has a father and we are doing the best we can with how we know how. i can't strip him of everything. he is being honest with us i don't want him to clam up and not tell us anything. i think he has been trying to quit smoking cigaretts to start cuz he did not have any yesterday and was a little irritable but that's ok and today he did not so it's a start and hopefully it won't get any worse. Yes, he is monitered on the zoloft. that's the only way to get it is through the pediatrician. He won't go to the psyc on wednesday but I'm still working on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 11:29am

I get it - you get the RX for the Zoloft through the pediatrician. Hmmm, didn't think you could do that...live and learn. I would still tell the pediatrician that he was found positive for pot and ask how what he feels about the combo of these two drugs and their possible interactions. Good luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 11:46am
Maybe i'm not clear, sorry...his counselor/psyc recommended he do this and sent a letter to the pediatrician. the ped perscribed the script. and the ped knows of the positive for pot cuz he ran the test and they are the ones that told me. my son did not know how we knew he just admitted when we approached him. but he went there today cuz he's sick and apparently the ped said something to him and my son called me after the apt and asked why i tricked him in the urinalysis. i told him i didn't ...the test was to see why he was feeling sick and this showed up in the urin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 2:36pm
eek the pediatrician told my son about the test..i did not tell my son how we found out. my son was sick and he went to the doc and before my husband could say something, the doc pulled out the test and said i guess we discussed this...my son was upset that we tricked him. anyway i told him it was still a test period doesn't matter what it was looking for..the outcome it the outcome. later on my dh said my son called him on the cell and thanked him for being concerned and realizing he has parents that worry about him.this may be a ploy to soften us up. we shall see..but he does have brochiotious.bad spelling. so i left work early to make him soup and salad. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 1:21am

I'm just jumping in here mid-way... but I have something to say about the gay porn thing, even though I was unsure exactly what Cedar saw when she checked.

But I told my DH once I found gay porn on the comp's history. He freaked out and began telling me how it happened. He was so freaked out that he "made" me sit at the computer and go through exactly what he did.

It started from an ad for rebuilt motors in an airplane magazine! So I went there and then he showed me how he again clicked on "rebuilt motors" and it went straight to gay porn, and very very graphic stuff, too. I eventually contacted this well-known magazine and told them what happened.

So I don't jump to any conclusions anymore about what I find on the computer.

Good luck, Cedar.

zz

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