My teenager tells lies about me!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2006
My teenager tells lies about me!!
14
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 10:53pm
I have a 14 year old son and lately he is so moody and angry. He sometimes wont even answer me when I speak to him. He is a completely different person around other people. Everyone tells me how sweet he is and what a nice boy he is. I just stand there and think, is this the same kid who lives with me? Im a single mom and have 2 younger daughters as well. My son recently started dating and out of concern, I started reading his msn chats with his girlfriend ( i know...a terrible thing to do!) LIttle did i expect to find that he tells lies about me all the time. He will tell his girlfriend terrible things that I said to him, things like, " you are stupid and i dont know why your girlfriend even dates you". Tonight I was watching a tv show where the dad was such a jerk and wouldnt lift a finger to help out around the house. I just mentioned to him that i hope when he gets married that he treats his wife with more respect than that. Later I read on his msn chats that he told his girlfriend that I told him that men are dickheads and stupid and that I think that men should do all the work while women sit around and do nothing. I was shocked to read that. I would never say anything like that to him. He also told her that I said he would make a terrible husband and nobody would ever want to marry him. Why would he tell lies about me like that? In the past ive noticed that he told her that she has the best mom in the world and that he got stuck with the worst one. GOd..someone stick a knife in me now. I do everything for him. There is nothing I wouldnt do for him and tell him I love him all teh time. I make so many sacrifices for him, every day. Why does he hate me so much? I dont understand why he tells these lies about me. I would never say these hurtful things to him, or anyone else. Can someone please help!!! I dont know what to do to make him stop this behaviour.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 10:13pm
Thanks. My gut instinct told me that I was right to put an end to it before it got out of hand. Right now he thinks im the worst mother in the world..and I know im not. If he could only see the things I have done for him. Hopefully someday he will realize how unselfish I am..but for now, I guess I have to try to relax and hope that I stay sane through the next few years!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 11:16pm

Well, you CAN'T be the worst mother in the world, if it's all over whether your 14 y/o DS can have his g/f in his room, I have you beat!! My DSs were not allowed to have their g/fs in their room until after they graduated high school!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 7:18pm
LOL - I remember having that argument with my own mom when I was about 16. I accused her of always yelling at me, and she was astonished and pointed out that she never even raised her voice. I tried to PATIENTLY explain to her (accompanied by appropriate eye-rolling and exasperated sighs) that in teenage lingo "yelling" in synonymous with correcting, disciplining or any other type of interaction the teenager doesn't find particularly pleasant. That made perfect sense to me at the time! Apparently with age I've become as dumb as my mom was, 'cause I sure don't get it now, LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 10:24pm
So I figured it out, huh? Maybe I'm not so slow nor as old as I feel somedays!

 

 

 

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