myspce and preteens!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2007
myspce and preteens!
23
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 5:32am

how many of your kids have a myspace? my oldst daughter did but she was very open with me and our computer is in the kitchen were i can see everything! abby my second daughter is 12 and asked me for a myspace kayla was her to visit and jumped and said no before me, frist you have to be 16 to singe up but abby told me that all her friends have one, now either these parents know and do not care or they do not know and are not watching them close enough. am i being to strickt not to let abby have one or am i doing the right thing?


shannon

shannon

shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 7:10am

I don't think the minimum age is 16, but 14, just by looking at the fake ages that kids on it use.

Avatar for amexia2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 10:24am

My older two - ages 16 and 14 - have a myspace, as do most (all, perhaps) of the kids they know. I have one, as well, and am on their "friends list". The guidelines I set down with my daughters were: 1) The computer is in the kitchen. I'm not going to stand right over anyone's shoulder when they use it, but I'd better not see anyone frantically clicking out of something when I walk in the room, either. If they're not doing anything wrong then they shouldn't worry about whether I see it or not. 2) They need to keep their profiles set to private so that only those who are on their friends list can see it. 3)They need to be careful of the sort of photos they share, even with friends.(I've seen waaaay too many young girls willing to exploit themselves on myspace just for the purpose of having a sexy/ cool photo.) 4) No "friends" that they don't know. If they don't know the person face to face, that person is not their friend. Now, probably 95% of the people on their friends lists are people that they go to school with. Small town, I know their friends too. They each have a few friends from neighboring/ regional schools that they know through sports, as well as relatives (aunts, cousins, etc) who can see their page too. 5) No harrassing other people on myspace. Not cool to send bad emails to people or leave rude comments. It's actually against the law and if the law doesn't care, well I sure do.

Even before I got my own myspace page, I was involved with theirs a lot, because they were learning how to design them. They both like to mess with their layout every few days and even now, they call me over to the computer every time they change their background or their song, just to get my opinion. When I got my myspace page, they both sent me friend requests and then wanted to mess with my layout too.

As for my myspace, I don't use it as a social thing like they do. I use it to blog my poetry. Beyond that, it's mainly just to have one and to stay involved with them and something that they enjoy.

Myspace isn't necessarily a bad thing for kids, just like the internet itself isn't a bad thing. It just requires guidelines and supervision, along with a willingness on their part to use it for something positive, rather than something negative.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 10:56am

My kids all have a MySpace...DS never goes to his...in fact, he told me something about a National Delete Your MySpace day, I think next week. No idea what's with that or who's campaign it is, just sayin'. DD's use it to socialize with friends, they rarely use AIM anymore. Their profiles are set to private. They love to share their MySpace pages with me...to the point of annoying...look at this, help me pick a song, etc( I like to be as crazy as I can, next time I'm going to suggest something from Boy George and the Culture Club (I met him once, lol)) ....their photos are the typical, goofy poses...my niece is one that tends to put sexy pix of herself on there...DD tells her to take them off...but...she's attractive, vain and her mother is so proud of her good looks she's not using common sense. I tried to tell her, just think what some perv out there is doing with that picture of her in the skimpy bikini...sigh...


You know, it can be a fun, safe activity, like it was originally intended, as long as you have guidelines and the kids follow them. 12 can be kind of young, it depends on your kid...


Here's a website you can check out:


http://www.babyroundabout.com/books/Five%20Steps.pdf

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 12:48pm

I've always been an anti-MySpace mom, but we made a major move 6 months ago, and both DD16 and DS13 now have one.


It has been the primary way DD has kept in touch with her old friends (who writes letter or makes phone calls anymore?) and is very responsible with it so I am not at all concerned.


DS doesn't seem to bother with his page much at all.




 

 

 

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 12:52pm

MySpace has lost it's appeal here; the kids are more into Facebook. I wasn't planning to let ds get one til this year plus he really wasn't interested til now (sophomore; 15). He and his friends, ONLY school friends, are on there putting cute stuff on - so far their group is VERY tame so I don't mind at all.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2007
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 9:22pm

I have kind of a long but good myspace story. My stepdaughter is 13. She knows that dh and I do not want her to have a myspace because personally, we don't feel she's mature enough to have one. We found one she had set up once that she claims a friend set up for her and we made her take it down. So this summer she started visiting her bm(biomom) regularly we started investigating myspace again because bm is very permissive. Well we found a myspace registered to bm but set to private with the main picture being sd's. So dh and I devised a plan. I setup a fake myspace acct. as a 16 year old boy. I sent her a friends request. She became my friend and I could see her whole acct. Then we started sending messages. Then she invited "him" to meet her! She even got her 15 year old cousin in chatting with this guy. "He" arranged to meet her at a football game she was cheering at. BIL(cousin's dad) got a friend from work to come and be this "boy"...this guy was 26. Scared the living daylights out of the girls(he told them that he set up the acct. to help teens know about the dangers and he just happened to notice that he knew bil because he'd see pics of his daughter).


So my sd hasn't been on myspace since. Obviously she's learned that she doesn't know enough about the dangers of the internet to adequately navagate it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2007
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 5:21am

i like that! my oldest daughter had a myspace but she told me everything and always showed me pictures and was always bugging me to. she has always been very open and stayed away from the drama, my 12 year old tends not to be as open and does not like to talk about things, even tho i do! she also is to trusting and believes whatever her peers say her father and i always tell her not to believe half of what people say. i think, i am going to make her wait. it just seems like kids are growing up to fast. now that they moved all the 6th graders in middel school these kids are just learning and moving faster with stuff i do not think they can really handel!


shannon

shannon

shannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 8:54am

Sorry, don't like that...a *friend* of mine did that to my DD...had her older (26) son send my dd a msg. He acted like he knew her, as my *friend* knew me and my family, and of course certain facts....(I don't know her son, stepson actually, she complained about him all the time, he's an excon who can't stay out of trouble) they were

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2008
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 10:19am
Hello, I am new here! I would say I agree with you! My Hubby is very against the kids having a my space page. I would probably let my son have one because he will be 15 in March. But he would have to give his correct age. My dd will only be 13 so she isn't old enough. And they would have to be on private! BUT since the husband doesn't approve I guess they are out of luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 10:42am

Neither of my kids have been on myspace. Both view it as too unrestricted. Its more for your "bloggers"

DD is on Facebook; her classmates at university use it to connect to arrange group study sessions, get-to-gethers. It's faster and more convenient than emails and phone calls. She also uses it to keep in touch with her friends at other school scattered across the world. In her case, it is a useful tool. I actually don't see how useful it can be for kids that are much younger.

DS has no interest.

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