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|Mon, 10-06-2003 - 1:17pm|
My DD (15) and her best friend did the classic "Switch" to their parents last Saturday
(DD said she was at friend's house, friend said she was here). They'd been at a quincenera party all day, and I found out by accident Sunday morning when her friend's mom asked me to have her daughter call her.
Long story short - she and her friend stayed at my DD's boyfriend's house (he's 16).
When she got home I confronted her - she admitted she'd been there, that his parents
were there, and that she and her girlfriend slept in another room.
I asked her repeatedly if she had sex, and she said no. I'm inclined to believe her (but maybe I'm just being naive). In the past we've had a great relationship. She's never lied to me before (to my knowledge anyway). I believe she's a virgin, but obviously doubts are creeping up now. We are fairly religious, and she's been brought up (and has told me that she believes) that sex before marriage is wrong, and will get in the way of a lot of the goals she's got in life.
Beyond the personal anguish and feelings of betrayal at my daughter for lying to me, I'm FURIOUS with this kid's parents - letting 2 15 year old girls spend the night without calling either set of parents!
The problem is that her boyfriend's family speaks little to no English - they have all boys (DD's BF is the youngest - the others are 18-20 ish).
I'm thinking of confronting the BF's family (with an interpreter I guess) and letting them know that my DD lied to me, that I NEVER would have allowed this, that I'm shocked that they would allow this behavior, that in not calling me I consider them to be irresponsible, and will never allow DD to be alone with their son for a long time, if ever. (They go to different schools, so this one is fairly easy to accomplish - we've taken away her cell phone, her home phone, and she's in gymnastics 4 nights a week til 8). Their son drives, but by CA law can't drive a minor in his car for another 6 months.
Advice on talking to the parents, legal issues, etc. needed.
I never dreamed I'd be in this position.