Need advice about DD going to a prom!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Need advice about DD going to a prom!
18
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 1:05am

Hello , I need some advice regarding my

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 7:39am

Are they planning to go as part of a larger group of friends (either hers or his), or are they planning to go as a twosome?

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 7:58am
Make sure you're comfortable. If it means having the boy over tonight or tomorrow before making the final decision, that's your choice as the parent. Do they go to the same school? If not, at least here the school student has to have approval from the school to let someone from another school attend, and that cutoff date is long before the night of prom - in fact the cutoff date to attend was way more than 3-4 days before, regardless. If they're truly just friends and going with other friends, it might not be a big deal - set limits for when she needs to be back, etc. and be sure you can be in contact with her. Let her know she can use you as an excuse (for prom or any other event in the future - even just being out with a group) that says you just called/texted and need her home NOW, so she knows if she's ever uncomfortable or tired or whatever, she can just 'blame' you that she has to go home. Good luck.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 8:18am

DH tells the story of breaking up with a long standing GF right before prom and just asking someone else to have a date. It's possible this is what has happened with your DD and hey, it's not a bad thing! It's a big event and they want to participate and enjoy themselves.

I say let her go but, just as the others have said, be clear about your expectations. She should be home at a reasonable hour and she should know exactly what to do if someone has snuck in a bottle of alcohol or has pills in their pocket. I am not saying this boy will do these things,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 11:01am

I don't necessarily think she is too young to go to the prom.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 11:21am

My 15yo dd went to prom with a jr, BUT... he was 16-just a year older; altho he had not been to the house before he asked her, he was in the band with both my dds-they knew him; he was also known by all the kids who were in both girls' groups, and they vouched for him; he DID come to the house several times before the day of the prom-because he asked her at least 2 months before; they went with a group of friends; after-prom the group simply went out to breakfast, then came back to OUR house for the sleepover-they were NOT going away for the weekend-just to downtown Chicago; and most importantly for us, he was moving away during the summer of that year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 4:25pm

My DD's senior prom tickets cost $14.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 5:36pm

It all depends on location, location, location.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 6:49pm

And since the number of low-income students is about 3% of 3800, I don't think it's much of an issue.

Unless, of course, you are one of that 3%.

Our Junior Prom is held at the high school gym, we don't have a senior prom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 7:48pm

We're in between you and sabr. Last prom we were involved with was 2008. Justin's tux was $75, the corsage was probably $15-20. Don't have a clue as to how much Sarah's dress was but she was a twin and one of 6 kids; I think they got it at a resale shop. To be honest - I don't remember where they ate beforehand. But most kids in this area go to a Chili's/Applebee's type place, which is considered pretty upscale for them. So it was probably $30 or so for the 2 of them. Sarah was only a freshman - her folks let her come over here for an hour or so afterwards; they extened her curfew til midnight that night. No expense there.

And to the OP - I definitely think you need to meet the boy before you let him just come and take your 'baby' away. It is awfully last minute but as someone else said - maybe he got 'dumped' at the last minute. And I do agree with sabr in asking around about the boy. But if they're going out with a group to the dance and he's bringing your dd home right afterwards and you have a good feeling about it - I'd let her go. Although I sure wouldn't break your pocketbook trying to buy a dress and accessories at the last minute.

Pam
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 8:58pm

(small world - a guy who went to UIC(C) with me teaches at Sandburg!)

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