Need advice for summer
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Need advice for summer
| Wed, 05-17-2006 - 8:59pm |
I am looking for some words of wisdom as summer approaches...My DD (15) has liked the same boy for over a year now and despite our best intentions he has turned into her BF. Well, both his family and ours (he is same age) supervise the kids at our respective houses, but we live with in walking/biking distance from each other and I am concerned about this summer. There is an intensity between the two of them that is scary to see at this age. My concerns are primarily about escalating intimate behavior. Ugh!! I just am so afraid of this!
Thanks for the input
Sharon
Thanks for the input
Sharon

There are several things you can try but I sort of take the when there's a will, there's a way approach. First of all talk, talk, talk to your DD about her values, her believes, etc. Make sure she knows that no matter what she does, you will always be there for her - you will not disown her. Discuss the emotional consequences of having sex at such a young age - their relationship will change, her self-image may change, etc. If you are prepared to discuss birth control options should the need arise, tell her that. If you want to be involved with that decision, let her know to come to you.
Second, is it possible to get a older teen or college student to pick-up DD and take her to the mall or to the movies once or twice a week? What about volunteer work or a summer job? Limit the amount of time she is at home alone.
Third, this was my parents favorite - they had a nosey neighbor spy on us. There was a retired lady next door and she knew every move I made all summer long and reported it to my mom. This used to make me so mad but I must say I credit this lady for my not being a teen mom.
Good idea about the neighboor.
There are also day sport camps for teens & summer school for extra credits or reach ahead.
There are theatre camps and music camps and "interest courses"... She can also get a summer job,like a mother's helper, or do volunteer work.
I would also not only talk to the girl alone but I would not shy away from talking to the two kids TOGETHER. Tell them you remember what it was like to be young. That's why there are rules to protect them from situations they are too young to handle.
My sister made a point when her boys were young teens (16 + ) with girlfriends to talk openly about the dangers of sex at such young ages. She didn't mince words. She made it very clear what she expected of her sons,infront of the girlfriends. In this way, it was out in the open.
So I think with some clear frank talk and surprise visits along the way - we should be ok!
Thanks for the reassurance!!
Sharon
Hopefully the thought of what your 2 ds's might do if anyone messes with their 'baby sister' will be enough to help keep this young man on the straight and narrow!