NEED HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
NEED HELP
6
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 7:36pm

Hi everyone,


I am new to this section.I need some advice about my 14 yr old daughter. She is a fairly good daughter. Today she went to the local library in town. We live in a small town in the country so in town is a few minutes away. She went to the library after school with a friend they stayed for a little while and then they left. The friends mother called the library to check on her daughter and they were not there. She cannot drive so she called me and I went looking for them. I drove through town they were no where to be found, so I checked one of their other friends houses. They were at the first one

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: sweetiger77
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 8:00pm

While I'm sure you we very worried to learn you DD was not where she was supposed to be, I don't know that any punishment is really in order.


You say your DD is a pretty good girl and it sounds like this is the first time she has done something like this.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
In reply to: sweetiger77
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 11:20pm

I have a 14 year old daughter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
In reply to: sweetiger77
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 7:42am

I agree with the other posts that if this has not been a problem before, a warning is in order, rather than a punishment. She does need to know exactly what your expectations are and it sounds like your expectations were somewhat fuzzy. You said that you didn't expect her to stay at the library. And she didn't. It really wouldn't be fair to punish her for that. If you do expect her to inform you or ask you before she changes locations (library to friend's house), then she needs to know that very clearly. And she needs to know why.


I have told my dd that even as an adult, we tell each other, roommates, husbands, even our children where we are. It is both a courtesy and an issue of safety. It is not b/c she is a child that I must know where

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
In reply to: sweetiger77
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 8:38am

My 14 yr-old dd used to wonder aloud why I let 13 yr-old dd do more with her friends that I let 14 dd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
In reply to: sweetiger77
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 9:54am

I tend to be overly strict about these things.

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: sweetiger77
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 9:58am
Since this is a first offence I would tell her that you and your friend's mom were most concerned about where they were, and how since they weren't at the library you had to take your time to go out and look for them.