need help with 20 year old son

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
need help with 20 year old son
9
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 1:34am

Please help if you can. My 20 year old son, who is away at college, is getting worse and worse to us whenever he comes home. He was home for spring break a couple of weeks ago, and he was just home for this w/e. He has turned into the most arrogant, self-righteous, entitled person I have ever seen. He wasn't always like this. I guess we are spoiling him. All he has to do is go to college. He has no job.He is always angry. When we ask him what he's so angry about, he says we frustrate him, but all we ever ask of him is to talk to us once in a while, just about little things like for example we asked if he wants to come to his grandma's house for Easter and he said no and all we did is say she hasn't seen him in a very long time and he said, all arrogantly,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 4:17pm

Look under School & Learning

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 3:42pm

Where is this board of parents with college students?

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 12:10am

Altho the kid may be using steroids, the supposed link between steroid abuse and psychiatric symptoms, including violence and aggression, has NOT be supported by studies using statistically valid numbers of participants, in a valid double blind setting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 9:51pm

These thoughts come to my mind, which may not be a sound mind:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 2:47pm

This wouldn't fly in my house at all. If he's rude when he comes home, he can stay at school or get an off-campus apartment for the summer, and a job to pay the rent. If he expects certain foods when he visits you, he can make them himself (and help shop for them.) If they are expensive, he can get a job to chip in some money.

It doesn't matter that he is a legal adult. It is your house and you have the right to set the rules for how to live in it. No one has the right to disturb your peace and that of your DD, who is still a minor

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 11:08am
startingover2010 wrote:

I am so sorry you are being mistreated by your son, but I can relate.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 10:57am

I agree with EVERYTHING you said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 10:47am

Since you said he's big & works out a lot I wonder if he is taking steroids--that would account for the personality change & agression.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 7:33am

I am so sorry you are being mistreated by your son, but I can relate.