Need Help For Son's Computer Addiction!
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| Sun, 07-02-2006 - 2:27pm |
Hi everyone. I'm new to this board but not to iVillage. I have a dilema and don't know what to do. My 16 year old son is addicted to computer games. He is literally on the computer from the time he wakes up in the morning until the time he goes to bed. He only takes breaks to shower, go to the bathroom and gather food. He eats all his meals at his computer and is very impatient if interrupted. He NEVER leaves the house except to go to school. His grades are good (87% average) - though I've never seen him with a book - and I've been telling myself that, as long as his grades are good I wouldn't interfere. But now I just don't feel right about it. He has friends but only associates with them via instant messenger. He doesn't go anywhere or do anything.
Prior to his Dad's and my divorce 4 years ago, he was very social - invited to every birthday party, sleepover, etc. Played sports, roller bladed, etc. All the things normal boys do. He totally withdrew when his Dad and I separated. We thought time would take care of it but it's only gotten worse. He doesn't drink or use drugs - how could he since he never leaves the house! :-)
So....what do I do? I know I should at least limit it - but to how many hours? I'm hesitant to take it away completely because that's his only line of communication to his friends. They all use instant messenger so if he's not online he will be even more isolated. Has anyone else encountered this with their teen and, if so, how did you handle it?
Thank you in advance for your input!!!
Debbie

Hi Debbie and welcome to the board.
Debbie,
I have a 14yo dd who has a computer in her bedroom. However, I control her internet access times through settings on MY computer. I allow her 2 hours on school days (from 7pm to 9pm) and 5 hours on non-school days, i.e. summer and weekends (from 4pm to 9pm). Anything more than that is at my discretion. And, of course, she is not on the computer this entire time as she also eats supper, talks on the telephone, and watches tv during these same periods of time. I had her sign an internet usage agreement with me and one of the conditions for having internet at all was she agreed to my blocking the "myspace" website. My 11yo ds also has a computer in his bedroom, but so far has shown no interest in the internet.
Amelia
Hi Debbie,
You ask a good question because I am pretty much a computer dunce. I had one of our computer guys from work come to my house and set me up. But in basic language: My computer plugs into the phone jack in my bedroom. Then through a wireless mechanism and software, my daughter is able to access the internet from my connection. My computer can be off and she can still access hers during the predetermined hours. My computer has the potential for access 24/7, but is password protected, and I log off before leaving my room when dd is around. I think the wireless stuff has a name - NETGEAR router, perhaps. I went to Staples and bought it there (but I was just buying what my computer friend told me to).
Amelia
how about some old fashioned bribery, ummm i mean 'positive reinforcements'?
pick a number of hours that is on the low end - lets say two hours a day. talk with your son, explain your concerns, and tell him that he can be on for two hours a day. but - that if he wants to, he can 'earn' additional hours. lets say - for each hour of volunteer work, he gets another hour, for going outside he gets another hour or whatever else you want him to do.