Need other Mom's advice of catching teen and oral sex with girlfriend of 5 days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2011
Need other Mom's advice of catching teen and oral sex with girlfriend of 5 days.
17
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 3:19pm

My son is 16 years old. He recently met a girl at the library. She is 18 and goes to another high school close by. My son brought her home to meet me and I let her stay over til about 11 pm until I told her I would take her home. They watched a movie in his room with the door open. I kept having to push it open and made if obvious the door needed to remain open. They were cuddling next to each other while watching the movie.

After dropping her off at her gated community, I talked to my son about there relationship and they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. She seems like a nice girl that has her sh$t together. Not too sound rude but I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

I do believe oral sex is taken very lightly these days.

Although the two of them getting out of the house would not mean less sexual opportunity, it does seem that, if they are BF and GF, they should be going to movies, parties, the mall, etc. Hanging around in the bedroom or on the couch leaves few options.

I don't know that it is worth fighting the relationship but you can certainly make it more challenging for them.

He is only 16 and he doesn't need to see her every school night. You can certainly limit this and be sure she is home by 9 on weeknights. Insist they get out, driving them and dropping them off if necessary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I see one main problem here being that this girl is 18 & is a legal adult, although she's in high school & lives w/ her mom now--maybe by June she could be living in her own apt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

I guess I'm wondering how the cell phone is related to getting a BJ in you home when your back is turned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004

First off the fact that they had oral sex doesn't mean either one of tehm is a bad kid. However that horse is out of teh barn so all you can do is increase security to try to keep it from escaping again. I woudln't allow them in his room period and stay on the same level as them rather than going up or downstrairs.

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Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

YOU are responsible for this behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009

Only 5 days?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2011

Update on situation:
I had a long talk with my son regarding his poor decision and he actually agreed with me that he felt ackward. We talked about girls and and I felt we had a good conversation about relationships and the meaning of intimacy. His gf texted him and i allowed him to respond to it so she didn't think he was ignoring her after the situation. He told her that I know about it and that I am taking his phone.
He is grounded for a week and he balked at that.I took his phone away because that is one of the only things he cares about along with freedom and I didn't want him to be in communication with his girlfriend at that time.
I received a text message from his gf thru my sons phone directed at me "I am completely sorry for my actions and agree to take full blame for what happened in your home. I understand if you can't forgive me at all, but I hope that you will in time. "
About 8 hours later I received a gift box on my porch with a card with my name on it, it was from the gf. The card again opologized and she included homemade cookies and ask that I take them as a peace offering. She then went into detail of why she liked my son and that she hopes that I allow her to continue to get to know him and see him.
I have to say I have never had this happen to me and the apology seems real. My son says she said it was her first time as his, but that seems odd to me that for a first time you would do it with family in the house. It doesn't add up to me.
I want to write her back and let her know how I feel about the situion. Any input is welcomed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

If you write her back, you can accept her apology and also outline very clearly what your expectations are for her behavior in your home.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

Get a grip, mom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2011

Sabrtooth - You are right in so many ways. I actually didn't allow my son to date

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