Need other Mom's advice of catching teen and oral sex with girlfriend of 5 days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2011
Need other Mom's advice of catching teen and oral sex with girlfriend of 5 days.
17
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 3:19pm

My son is 16 years old. He recently met a girl at the library. She is 18 and goes to another high school close by. My son brought her home to meet me and I let her stay over til about 11 pm until I told her I would take her home. They watched a movie in his room with the door open. I kept having to push it open and made if obvious the door needed to remain open. They were cuddling next to each other while watching the movie.

After dropping her off at her gated community, I talked to my son about there relationship and they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. She seems like a nice girl that has her sh$t together. Not too sound rude but I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009

Merging of the families: I have seen many families with

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

good points ashmama!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998

You are being manipulated. I know lots of rich kids (basically, 90% of my kids' friends)

Avatar for scoutnut
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010

While reading your posts, my first thought was indeed - What were you thinking! However, it was aimed at you, and not the kids.

Curfew - Both kids are in high school. It is past Christmas break, and not yet spring break, so they should be attending every day, They should also have a good bit of homework to do every night. Why on earth are you letting them stay up until Midnight on a school night?

Are you a SAHM? If you work, how can you stay up until 11pm-midnight, drive this girl home, and then, finally, get home, get to sleep, and then wake up bright and early the next morning to get yourself to work (and your son to school)?

Bedrooms - NOPE, NO WAY - Not even with you coming by periodically and opening the door. The fact that you HAD to keep opening the door should have been a bit of a clue, and their laying side by side on the bed "doing nothing", should have been a giant hammer to the head. NEWS FLASH - They were NOT "doing nothing". They stopped because they heard you coming mom. Just as they stopped every time they heard you coming by to re-open the door!

Cookies - Nice, but I agree it was more a ploy than a real apology. She is not dumb. She knows she is an adult, and your son is still under age. She knows if you get pissed off she might end up with a criminal record of child abuse that will follow her forever.

Taking her home - Why are you just dropping her off at the gates? How do you know she actually lives there? Insist that you must drop her off at her door, and then wait, and watch, until she actually goes inside. This is for the benefit of both you, and her.

If they keep seeing each other, YOU must set ground rules, and keep them.

They stay in living room. You stay near by, in the same room, or at least ON THE SAME FLOOR. They lost any trust they might have been owed when they had oral sex, on your couch, in front of your younger son! SHEESH!

These two need CLOSE monitoring, and big time ground rules.

Use your common sense mom!


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I'm not sure I agree that waiting til kids are old enough to drive themselves (which in our state would be 17) is the best idea for dating--so they don't go on a date until they can be alone in a car, which gives more opportunity for at least making out & maybe having sex in the car, not to mention being w/ an inexperienced driver.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

<<

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009

Teens manipulating their parents? Unimaginable!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2011

Sabrtooth - You are right in so many ways. I actually didn't allow my son to date

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

Get a grip, mom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

If you write her back, you can accept her apology and also outline very clearly what your expectations are for her behavior in your home.

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