Need really quick advice!
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| Mon, 02-13-2006 - 3:41pm |
DS just called me in a panic because some girl asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance next month--a girl he barely knows, they are in a class together (leadership). He was hoping someone else would ask him that he sort of likes.
DS is a really sweet guy and he just doesn't know how to turn her down, but he doesn't want to go with her, #1 because he hardly knows her, and #2 because he's afraid she'll want to go with her friends, even more people he doesn't know, and #3 because he's hoping this other girl will ask him. He even said if girl he likes doesn't ask him he'd rather go in a group solo.
How can he let this girl down gently? He has to call her this afternoon. The last thing he wants is to hurt her feelings. I feel so bad for the girl--I've met her at a function and she's very sweet. Also, DS is a senior so I'm think he feels like this is his last Vice dance, he should have it the way he wants it basically.
Laura

DD was just in a very similar situation with winter formal. She got an invitation to go (it was 'couples' only) and not only did she not want to spend an entire evening with the boy who did the asking, but didn't want to lead him on either.
I think she just told the boy that she wasn't planning on going, had other plans for that evening, etc. I felt terrible for the kid, too, but DD is just not interested in him and I'd rather her turn him down than lead him on. (How she's going to respond when he finds out she really did go to the dance is a whole different issue!)
Could your son just tell the girl that he has other plans for the evening? It's true, so it wouldn't exactly be a lie. He plans on going to the dance, just hopefully with somebody else, or with his group of friends.
He could tell her he already has plans to go to the dance with a group of friends and he would see her there. I think that's how DD responded to this boy when he asked her to the Homecoming Dance.
Hope this helps!
I think if there is a girl he is interested in he needs to ask her out NOW, not sit around with his fingers crossed and hope she will ask him to this dance a month away
He should seriously consider going with the girl who did ask IMO-its just a dance!
If not, he should be honest and say he was plannning on going with someone else
After all, that is the plan he has in mind. I dont agree with implying he isnt going to go at all because the asker then gets hurt twice-by the 'no' and then again by seeing that the person lied to them
Thanks to both of you! He just called and said he called her and told her he was hoping a girl he likes and her friends have hinted around about the dance would ask him and she was fine with that. She said no hard feelings, she just thought he was a nice guy. He told her she was sweet and he hoped to get to know her more in leadership before they graduate in June.
I think that was his whole way of thinking -- only two dances left and he'd rather go with his group of friends than an entirely different group where he really doesn't know, or spend time, with any of them.
Because, of course, living in La-La Land, the kids here are spoiled rotten, and it's not JUST the dance. It's the fancy dinner beforehand, the limo, and the after-party. And he didn't want to spend what is basically about eight hours, with people he really doesn't know.
Thanks again, guys!