Need some advise
Find a Conversation
Need some advise
| Sun, 08-19-2007 - 11:33am |
My son is 14 and is driving me crazy with his obsession with porn. I understand that he is curious, but he really has no control. We don't let him on the computer anymore because of this, but I also know he needs some kind of outlet..KWIM?
My question is.. should I just get him a playboy and tell him to keep it in his room?
Background: He has Asperger's syndrome, so he is a little slow when it comes to filtering his behavior.
Please any advice would be awesome!


Pages
Quote: “My question is.. should I just get him a playboy and tell him to keep it in his room?”
This sounds like a reasonable solution/compromise.
I have
I have gone to some talk/lectures through our school system on this subject and the behavior can easily escalate and become more than just checking out some websites. And if he has a problem with inappropriate behavior or impulse control this isn't something you want him to get into. There aer so many people out there on the net looking for others surfing around for porn and you don't know who might contact him. Talk with him. like Rose suggested and try to work something else out.
JMHO
Kristie
I agree with Rose too. Even though your DS has difficulties controlling and/or filtering his behavior, it IS something he should be encouraged to learn to do.
Although it is undoubtedly going to be tough-going and frustrating for you, the time you spend with him will surely serve to prepare him to learn to behave appropriately in his late-teen and adult years -- not to mention it being a life-long skill.
I know you said he's in therapy. Have you asked the therapist about some techniques and/or ways to discuss this with him? Also, not sure which boards you frequent here on iVillage, but have you checked out the board below? I don't know the board, and don't know if you've already been there or not, but might help to get some info from other parents who've BTDT with their children who have similar thought processes.
PDD-NOS/Asperger's Syndrome
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pspddnos
Just a thought, HTH and best wishes!
Sallie
Aspergers is also heavily visual if I recall correctly - which merely amplifies everything else teenage boys go through for him.
Any men in the house to suggest good long showers? This is a tough one especially if you have not had a lot of sex etc... converations along the way. For him this is probably more than just following a pop up it probably also feel good tactilly (sp?)I think your conversation could be kept to the real women type conversation. If he cannot, which you said he cannot, control his computer time make it so he can only use it in front of you. Explain to him why the porn visiting is not acceptable and keep going over it as needed. I am fortunate enough to have a very honest friend who tells me all about the boy stuff going on for them - dh gets embarassed.
good luck!
Courtney
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom
Can you ask him what exactly he is curious about? Breasts? women's bodies in general? What is going on with his own body?
Do they do any sex ed in school? That may be a good place to start the conversation from. I have a great book called "Ten talks parents must have with kids about sex and morals" and it started with the sex ed piece - broach the subject with - how do you think the teacher felt talking about those issues? Were there questions you had that they did not answer?
Oh and don't go in thinking you don't have to fight the lump in your own throat but it DOES get easier. We have some fun running jokes around the topic too.
Hang in there!
Courtney
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom
Have you consulted his therapist about how you ought to proceed. What ever you decide needs to be coordinated with the therapist otherwise your DS might get mixed messages.
Jason
My website: http://TheParentsCoach.com
My parents blog: http://blog.TheParentsCoach.com &nbs
Pages