Need some mom advice
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 08-19-2006 - 1:51am |
Hey everyone! I haven't been to this board in quite a while! For those of you that don't remember or are new, I'm Korie, and I'm 16, a junior in highschool. I used to post here sometimes to get some parental opinion when I was having a hard time figuring some things out, having issues with my parents and doing some really stupid things, or to share some teen insight. But I'm back because I'd like a little mom (or daddioe!) adivce.
Any my current problem? I want to date this guy, but I think he's too old. If you were to ask me the oldest guy I'd date, I would say 18, maybe 19. This guy just turned 20. He's not a weirdo creepy 20. He's not even a "been there, done that" 20. He seems a little young for his age, pretty green. He still lives and home and goes to community college. He's a nice guy, very polite, goes to church, very funny, smart, cute. Basically, he's a pretty great guy by my standards. I like him, alot...and he likes me too. He does think I'm too young, I think, but would be willing to date still. I just don't know what to do. Sex isn't really an issue. I wouldn't have sex with him, and I think he would say the same thing...i don't think he's ever had sex before. It might actually be easier to stay away from sex because it's illegal, which another barrier that isn't negotiable. So basically, looking at all these positives, I'm thinking, "Just go for it"...but the age thing really bothers me. It doesn't make me uncomfortable when I'm around him, but it does when I think about it when i'm not with him. I really just don't know what to do.
But, here's the part that I think you guys will be able to help me with the most. If I do end up dating him, how in the world can I explain to my parents that I'm dating this guy who's 20 without them flipping out? Is it possible? I want to be honest about it, but I don't know how. I'm often not honest with my parents because I think I can make pretty good decisions without consulting THEM (even when I have to consult other people sometimes), and it's easier to just go with what I think without having to convince them that I'm right when I already know I am, or abide by their decision of a situation which isn't theirs. However, I know saying that makes me sound like a cocky teenage, which i probably am, so I need to start learning how to talk to them.
Thanks so much.
Korie


Pages
Korie,
It's so good to hear from you. I hope things are going well for you. I'm going to give you the same advice I would give my girls - if you're old enough and mature enough to do the deed, then you are old enough and mature enough to discuss it with your parents.
As a mom, I would hold great concerns about my 16 y/o dating a 20 y/o, however, I hope that I would reserve judgement until I met and got to know the guy. I can see the obvious problems of dating someone so much older - do you share a common set of friends, do you have similar interests, values, etc. Would he want to go to places that it isn't legal for you to go - clubs, for instance? Would his or your friends be comfortable around you or him? On the bright side, an older, more mature guy might not put you through the drama that some of the younger ones do.
I know I'm not much help here but hope that I've given you some things to think about.
Let us know what you decide.
Pages