Need to vent :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Need to vent :(
26
Tue, 07-05-2011 - 11:09pm

My DD's best friend just let me in on the reason she has been so upset these last few days. She hasn't been eating, sleeping well, and has been crying a lot. (although she tells me repeatedly nothing is wrong) DD has had a best guy friend since 8th grade, last year, he started telling her he was in love with her, but she was dating someone else at the time. He went away on summer vacation and during his absence she decided that she loved him as well (they are both almost 18). He got back last Friday and spent all day with her. Then she didn't see him Saturday because he had to work, she didn't see him on Sunday because he had "other plans", then he stopped texting her altogether and it's been almost almost 48 hrs since they've spoken (she's texted and I guess he ignores it). After asking what was wrong and getting rebuffed for the 1,000th time, I texted her best friend and asked her to come over and cheer her up. We spoke out in the driveway before she came in the house and she let me know in a roundabout way that DD had lost her virginity to the boy that Friday night. (I promised I wouldn't say anything about it and I won't) But I am SO LIVID at that kid right now. He has been proclaiming undying love for a year, and now that she's returning it, he won't speak to her anymore! Are boys so stupid they honestly don't understand what that means for most girls? My heart is breaking for my daughter right now. I can't say it anywhere else since I promised not to, but I have to get this off my chest.

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 3:48pm

I agree it would depend on mom's 'relationship' with the friends. Dd's bff called me. Her 3 closest friends all would contact me if need be.

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Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 6:06pm

I have to agree with musiclover.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 7:21pm

good advice.

I would also add that the mom should also not base anything on hearsay and gossip. The information she gleams from her daughter's friends is second and third hand at the best, just their opinions. I would be very careful believing all she hears as the real truth. She does not know what this young man is thinking or feeling, no matter what his "friend" says.

As you wrote, it would be best if she doesn't trash this young man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 12:15am

As I posted last night this is a good place to vent--very helpful and supportive.

The reason our kids pains hurt us so much is that we love them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 12:19am

PS:

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 2:24am

Depends on the family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 7:55am

LOL Sabr.... all I can say is OH MY!!

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 9:15am

You do have a super relationship with your girls!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 12:27pm
A big LOL to all you ladies!

DH and I were able to adjust to "it" happening, even the overnighters, but wanted NO details.

It is good to be able to keep the communication lines open with your kids and parents. Just NO details about your sex other than your happiness please. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 12:31pm
Have a good time. Trips with grown up kids can be lots of fun!