Need your opinions

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Need your opinions
19
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 3:16am

Here's the deal. I am going to be going away for the weekend in November, dh will also be away at the same time. Tonight we were talking about it and I said my nephew would probably be willing to stay with the kids. My SIL said that we should leave them alone for the weekend, after all Kelsie will be going to college next year, she is 17.
I just never thought about it. Kelsie is 17 and is pretty responsible, I really don't think she would have anyone over that shouldn't be in the house. I know that Jaryd would let me know if she did. Jaryd is 15 and is a good kid and I wouldn't see any reason not to trust him. But are they really old enough at 15 and 17 to stay from Friday until Sunday alone.
Here is what we have: both are good kids, pretty responsible
neither drink
neither smoke
they know the rules about not having friends in when we aren't home
my brother and SIL live about 1/2 mile from us
they know how to cook for themselves
BUT
have never stayed alone before
they do get into some fights, nothing terrible, just yelling matches

Oh and our next door neighbor is a cop.

What do y'all think?
I haven't talked to dh yet about it, so I don't know what his thoughts are. Just thought I would put it out there for some opinions and thoughts.
TIA,
Kristie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:04am

Given everything you've said about your kids, I'd leave them home alone for the weekend - but let them know that their aunt & uncle, as well as the cop, will be keeping an eye out and checking in with them.


We've left our teens home alone for 3-4 days at a time with no problems, but we also let our neighbors know we'll be gone, give the neighbors our cell numbers if there's any problem, and have a back up plan if anything happens.

Avatar for jbgattuso
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 9:02am

I think that I would go for it :) We are concidering next summer letting the boys stay alone for 5 days with Grandma and Grandpa 5 miles away. I have told them that we will see how this yr goes with their display of responsibility. My guys are like yours...never given us a reason to doubt them (except for DS and the GF) but like I said we'll see how this school yr goes. They will be 17 and 15 at the time of our trip :)

Julie

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 9:11am

I'd give it a shot. If nothing else, you will learn that you can either trust them completely or not at all! If you are friendly with your neighbors, you can ask one or two of them to keep an eye on the house and be available in an emergency.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:29am
Well, I'm going to continue to proudly wear the mantle of "overprotective mom," (LOL) but I wouldn't be comfortable doing it. My kids aren't quite at those ages yet (only 15 and 13), but the fact that you have a 15yo there makes me a little nervous. Even if they are good kids, it's hard to know what their friends might do if word gets out that they're home alone. And I'm still not sure about the judgment kids have at that age. But if you have relatives so close by, and reliable neighbors, I guess it isn't a huge risk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 12:22pm

I think much of the sibling fighting is for our benefit-it decreases when we are not around

How social are your kids?

I have 2 shy, introverted ones and one that seems outgoing by comparison but, in the grand scheme of things, is still not Mr Social.More of the one or two friend type guy. A party at our house just isnt realistic-DS2 might have a GF and maybe 2 couples over but, again, none of these guys have a contact list of 50 people to TM about the party, KWIM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 12:46pm
By age 16, and liscensed to drive, my parents were going on 4-5 week long vacations, leaving me behind to house-sit. The only rule? My big brother wasn't allowed to come over(even though he was in his late thirties at the time), because they were worried that HE'D be the one throwing big parties every other night (I was permitted to have people over, just not in huge numbers).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 1:23pm

I agree that much of sibling fighting is for mom's benefit - mine get along much better when I'm not there as a potention "MOOOOMMMMMMM!!!! He ______________"


Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:55pm
I am glad you posted this because I am in a similar situation. I have a business trip coming up in October. I have to be gone Tues. thru Friday and am considering leaving my two girls home alone. They are 16 and 12. They are pretty responsible and they know the rules. I would have a back up plan in place as someone else mentioned as well as someone they could call in an emergency. My main concern is that it is during the school week which means them getting homework done and up and ready and to school. I am still in the "pondering" stage and am looking forward to the responses to this post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 9:55pm

Personally, I was going to say have the sil stay until the neighbor cop. I think I would ask them because reality is it does not have to be about them having kids over it can be that someone gets wind of it and they just show up. Being proactive is not bad thing. I think I would give the kids the opportunity to decide and if they opt for no adults with them - make sure the police know they are home alone - around here they actually have a program, let the neighbors know and that there should be no spare cars (except...) and make sure the trip anywhere always brings your sil past your house! You really can never be too careful!

Courtney

Courtney

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Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:27am

Well, today I asked dh what he thought of what SIL had to say about the kids staying alone and he just kind of gave me one of those "She's out of her mind" looks. Then he said, Yeah she can talk, she didn't even know her dd was going out with a guy etc etc etc. Yes, my niece did hide a relationship and ended up almost having a break down because of it, but that doesn't really have anything to do with our kids staying alone. I guess he just doesn't agree with her, and we are very close with this bro and SIL.
I think he is just a little nervous about the fact of them being alone and something happening. Not that they will have a party or anything, I am pretty sure that wouldn't happen. I guess I will be calling my nephew and asking him if he can spend the nights here or see if I can arrange for them to stay with their best friends. Not a bad option for either of them, as that is where they end up spending most of their free time anyway.

The funny thing is that now that they are teens the tables have turned, I used to be the one that was a bit overprotective and cautious, he would let them do things that sometimes I just wouldn't have. Now I am the one that is a little easier and not quite as strict. Maybe because our oldest is a girl and even though this letting go is tough for me, I think it is even harder for Dad with his little girl. Sometimes I think he forgets that it won't be that long (Feb.) and she will be 18 yo. YIKES!!!

Thanks for all your thoughts, I think I will have a little talk with dh and see what he is thinking. At their age he and his sister were staying alone all the time. Who can figure???

Kristie

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