Need your opinions

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Need your opinions
19
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 3:16am

Here's the deal. I am going to be going away for the weekend in November, dh will also be away at the same time. Tonight we were talking about it and I said my nephew would probably be willing to stay with the kids. My SIL said that we should leave them alone for the weekend, after all Kelsie will be going to college next year, she is 17.
I just never thought about it. Kelsie is 17 and is pretty responsible, I really don't think she would have anyone over that shouldn't be in the house. I know that Jaryd would let me know if she did. Jaryd is 15 and is a good kid and I wouldn't see any reason not to trust him. But are they really old enough at 15 and 17 to stay from Friday until Sunday alone.
Here is what we have: both are good kids, pretty responsible
neither drink
neither smoke
they know the rules about not having friends in when we aren't home
my brother and SIL live about 1/2 mile from us
they know how to cook for themselves
BUT
have never stayed alone before
they do get into some fights, nothing terrible, just yelling matches

Oh and our next door neighbor is a cop.

What do y'all think?
I haven't talked to dh yet about it, so I don't know what his thoughts are. Just thought I would put it out there for some opinions and thoughts.
TIA,
Kristie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 8:46am
Wow...your parents were going away for 4-5 weeks at a time? Didn't that bother them leaving you for so long. I can't fathom leaving my dd for so long.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 10:10am
They wanted to spend a month or more out west at my grandparents' place every summer. I did not. We essentially came to the agreement it wouldn't be fair to drag me out to Nevada for 1/3 or more of my summer vacation, when I (a) didn't want to go and (b) generally worked very hard during the school year. I assume at some point they also realized that being crammed into my grandparents' place with a cranky 16-year-old probably wouldn't be any fun for anyone. Honestly, if they had made 1-2 week vacation plans, I probably would've tagged along, but I didn't want to be away from my friends for 5 weeks, and stuck in an area (Reno), where there's nothing to do for the under-21 crowd.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 10:21am
Thanks for explaining...my mother beat instincts were coming out.
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 5:19pm

Going to keep my response simple here...

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Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 5:23pm
LOL
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 12:17am

It might actually be better during the school year and during the week because they will be very busy with school and activities.... less time to get into difficulties!!! LOL!!!

I tend to be a parent who does not hover over my children... no one would ever accuse me of being overprotective! I am working hard to teach them to be responsible for themselves. Years ago a 16 yr old would have been considered an adult. I am not suggesting we do that again, but I do believe we often encourage our children to stay children too long......

I haven't made up my mind yet about what I will do....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 2:49am
im a teenager im 17 years old theres lots of ways for teens to do things there not supposed to without getting cought .. say they have a friend with theyre own apparetment they might be there all hours of the night because they dont have to be home just because u think they wont be trashing ur house or geting out of control doesnt mean they wont be at a party where things like that will take place im sure u think ur kids are sweet and innocent but the truth is ive hid smoking and drinkng from my parents for three years now , im not a bad kid but im a 17 year old who likes to party i know if my parents went away i wouldnt have a party but i would be going to a few while theyre gone.... no cerfew no rules etc. this is my point of view
hope it helps somewhat...
i suggest they have an adult in the house for the weekend ur gone to set boundries and that they're not being mischievous
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 5:37pm

If you trust them I would say to leave them. I stayed home alone at 16 when my parents went on vacation. I got to school, cooked, cleaned and cared for out pets (dog and several cats). My parents called every night to see if I was ok and I knew the phone number of where they were in case I needed them. There was never any issues and or trouble.

My parents knew they could trust me to be responsible and I knew who to call if I needed something. After all, your 17 will be in college soon and if she goes away will be faced with lots of adult decisions. I am sure she can handle 3 days alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 12:20am

Well....we left DS17 alone for a weekend a year ago. He'd never gotten into any trouble prior to that. That was the Friday he drank before a football game and, four days later, ended up getting suspended from school for 5 days for having admitted to doing that. We called him and talked to him while he was at the location they were drinking before the game, and he sounded just fine...we thought all was fine. We later called him when he was at the game and he sounded just fine. Nevertheless, he got in big trouble for having drunk a little alcohol that Friday night.

Then, on that Saturday, he called us to see if he had to stay at his friend's house that Saturday night, couldn't he just stay at home and sleep in his own bed? Later we found out that he had a whole group of friends over to watch a college football game. DS is and introvert and knowing our rules, would not invite a whole gang over, but he has friends who would not hesitate to say, "Hey, no one's home at X's house, let's go there." Our guess is that they did more than just watch the football game, and they would've liked to have an all-night party but we spoiled their night by requiring that he stay at the friend's home, as originally planned. We never found out exactly what went on that afternoon/night at our house, but I know someday we will find that it was as we suspect--not all clean fun.

Our neighbor who knows all the cops was gone that weekend. We did not ask another neighbor to keep watch cuz we thought DS was staying with a friend. That friend's parents trusted them and did not know kids were at our house on Saturday. With the better surveillance you have planned, and with a younger sibling around, all could go well. But if you have any doubt, have your nephew stay with them.

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