New here with a dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
New here with a dilemma
10
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 7:37am

Hi I am brand new here but I am at a loss as to what to do and need advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:12am
I don't know if I have any great advice for you, but I sympathize with your dilemma. I was getting angrier and angrier just reading your post! This woman's behavior is outrageous. I can't begin to imagine what she is thinking, other than the fact that she probably wishes she were a teen herself and is living vicariously or something. Her behavior--providing cigarettes (!), texting your daughter (!), secretly letting them have sleepovers with boys (!)--is so over the line, I don't even know where to start. I give you kudos for taking her on already about the cigarettes. Your DD is still so young, I'd say you need to keep her on a very short leash. Of course, I wouldn't let her go anywhere near this woman's home again. I wouldn't forbid the friendship with the woman's daughter, just say that they need to be at your home or someplace where you or another responsible adult can supervise. And I would monitor and verify her activities very closely from now on. If you then find out she has gone to this person's home, I'd probably ground her for a bit or take away some other priviliges. Basically, I'd make this friendship very inconvenient for your daughter. Has this woman provided alcohol to these kids as well? I wouldn't be surprised if she has. (She probably will soon.) Once she does that, you can probably turn her in to the police. Good luck!
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:49am

She sounds awful and you sound like a responsible mom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 9:17am

I wouldnt think of it as 'confronting' the other mother. That sounds scary and it should if she lives near you

You have made the correct decision. If this girl is a good friend, she can see dd at your home. Your dd does not go there and, if pressed by the mom, you can say you have stricter rules or you believe in heavy supervision. You shouldnt have to accuse her of lying

I agree you should let the other parents know anything you are sure of as OP suggested

Talk to dd-what is SHE going to say? You can't guarantee her words but I sure would TRY to get her to keep it toned down to something like "my mom has soooo many rules" as opposed to "your mom is a liar", KWIM??

It's s shame but it seems to be more common than I ever would have thought before I had teens

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 10:08am

Thank you to you ladies who have already responded to my post this morning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 3:41pm

<<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 10:45am

Hang in there!

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 4:59pm
I just saw an article on Inside Edition where a mother is serving 27 months in jail for providing beer for her son's 16'th birthday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 7:16am

Something like that will probably eventually happen to this mom.


But to update everyone she just does not quit.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 7:26am
Don't let up, this is a crazy woman!

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 9:31am
She sounds like a stalker or a woman who sells drugs...that's how they get kids hooked.