A NEW PERSPECTIVE !!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
A NEW PERSPECTIVE !!!!
4
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 7:39pm

SOMEONE SENT THIS TO ME BY EMAIL, I CANNOT CREDIT THE AUTHOR BUT IT SHOULD GIVE US ALL PAUSE AND GRATITUDE, ALONG WITH THE NOTION THAT OUR WORLDS ARE NOT COMING TO AN END WITH EVERY CRISIS.

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

"Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's,tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, your son, John.

P. S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 8:40pm

That was awesome! Now could we have one as witty prepared by a parent to a child?

Something like,

Dear Son,

I have left for a while. I don't know when I'm coming home. I didn't nkow how long I'd be gone so I took all the food in the fridge and the cabinets, the knife block and cutting board, 3 bowls, and the crock pot (I'll hook it up to the power source in my car).

The rent's due on the 1st - they usually come for it around the 5th. Please take care of that. If you don't pay the electric bill by Tuesday you'll have no lights...it's $110. Go to it.

Laundry day is Tuesday (well, since I'm not here, it's whatever day you want). Please leave your brother $15 - he does the laundry.

The cat litter has to be scooped every day - no lie - or the cats will pee on your clothes - thereby increasing your laundry costs. Don't buy cheap litter cause they won't use it. Their food is in the cabinet above the oven - it should last about a week. After that, better get some.

School starts at 7:30, and if you're late, a parent has to sign you in - so get a hold of your father before he starts his 30 mile commute in the morning or you're suspended - and no prom.

Oh, and I took my jar of coins, too - I'm gonna need them.

Love,

Mom

PS - That was all a lie. I'm at a meeting - there's meat loaf in the fridge, snacks in the cabinet, and I'll be home around 9. Cats are fed - litter cleaned. Please take out the garbage and do your homework. I love you very, very much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 10:32pm
That was fantastic! You have a great sense of humor. My family remains a constant source of comedy for me and of course my friends who supply all the funny emails. I am afraid my letter would need to be 10 pages long just to remind them where everything is located. Better thought, one for the children, separate one for DH. Thanks for the laugh. Anna
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 8:59am
Too too funny!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 2:52pm
Oh, I loved that! It reminded me of when I was 15, and my mom was complaining to her cousin about my typical teen stuff - how frustrated she was. Kitty said "Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't realize she was pregnant." My mom was startled and said "no, no - she's not pregnant!" and Kitty said, "oh, then it's the drugs? or has she dropped out of school?" and finally my mom said "okay, I get it - it could be a whole lot worse!" LOL