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|Mon, 05-05-2003 - 4:42pm|
Where I'm at right now is figuring out how to take care of my son without having had a transitional lead-in to raising a teen. It was truly like we had one day's notice and Nicholas came back. It's great in many ways and I feel so fortunate; but then again I have two younger children who are also trying to come to terms with having a moody, barking young man around. A also dear young man with a good heart who is making really poor choices in friendships.
Nick attends the local publice school. We homeschool our other two critters and have been pretty isolated up to now. What I am having to contend with is the social interacting with other teenagers, many who are left to their own devices for hours at a times after school and most who are making their own value judgments as they go along. I worry about the how the impact of the communications they are having with their working and very busy parents will affect my son. Many of these kid's are lying to their folks about their whereabouts and the things that they are doing.
I'm pretty firm about where, what, what time, with whom and when are you going to be back ~ and I'm pretty comfortable that my son is being truthful with me. But I do notice a true change in his personality when he arrives back from his outings with a few of the kids. Most of it is muttering and poor attitude, begging me for things or letting him stay out later or asking me 'why' over and over when I have fairly explained my stance on an issue. This is weird because we always had a close and mutually enjoyable relationship prior.
Frankly the begging irritates the absolute poop out of me. And not just from him ~ but also, the kids he's brought home are so bold ~ they will beg along with him, or come in and ask for food and to spend the night. One kid downloaded porn last week on our PC when my son and I were talking upstairs. This kid is history, but still a 'friend' to my son at school. Speaking with his mother is no help ~ it's like she's a 13 year old as well.
I've calmly explained to my son our concerns and he's pretty good about seeing our viewpoint, but I really don't know what to do when he says he wants to hang out with these kids. He says he wants friends and I understand his need to fit in, but I don't think I'm willing to sacrifice him for it.
Any advice will be welcome, Karen