no drive and no ambition

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
no drive and no ambition
50
Sat, 03-31-2012 - 8:03am

Hello.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 6:14pm

Finally, someone who who has walked in my shoes, & feels like I do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 6:56pm

I like your DD's spunk, sabr--all our dr's and dentists make reminder calls as a matter of course so I don't think it's asking too much for a psych to do that.

I do have to say that one problem in a 2nd marriage where there are kids from the 1st marriage is that the bio parent might not accept the opinions or "help" from the stepparent.

Avatar for anotherheartmum
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2002
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 7:30pm
musiclover12 wrote:

I like your DD's spunk, sabr--all our dr's and dentists make reminder calls as a matter of course so I don't think it's asking too much for a psych to do that. Yes to this!

I do have to say that one problem in a 2nd marriage where there are kids from the 1st marriage is that the bio parent might not accept the opinions or "help" from the stepparent.

Avatar for anotherheartmum
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2002
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 8:40pm

these shoes are not easy to walk in are they?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 8:59pm

Thank you, Music...and therein lies the problem.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 11:33pm

DD2 had tics that were "unmasked" by her Concerta, but she gradually lost them over the course of several years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 7:48am

Thanks for the support.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 3:48pm

I'm still on my first marriage and I don't have stepchildren, so I haven't walked in your shoes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 5:40pm
I totally agree mahopac. There is always an idealized picture of what life "should" be, but you have to deal with life as it is. My DH and I *should* be empty esters now, but instead we have a house full, including an 8 month old baby who causes all of the disruption that any 8 month old will cause. That's life as it is, we can either stew about how it could/should be, or deal with it as it is. Stewiing is a whole lot of wasted energy IMO.
IMHO, part of the problem is this whole my kids vs your kids thing that has been repeatedly brought up. You might not have raised them, but you knew they were part of the bargain when this game started. FWIW, I don't buy the "I didn't give birth to them or raise them so I don't love them the same" stuff either. I have a son who came to us as a 17 yr old juvenile delinquent foster son and he is every bit as much my kid as the ones I gave birth to. Sometimes ya gotta wanna, and I'm not hearing a whole lot of want to here.
Self-talk is an interesting thing... if you tell yourself that something is awful often enough it becomes more awful in your own mind than it really is. A self fulfilling prophecy. I think its time to change the self talk here, it most certainly couldn't hurt.
Avatar for anotherheartmum
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2002
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 6:00pm

Thank for the links, I've seen the one by Dr. Packer, but I dont think I've seen the other two. I'll have to check it out later.