no drive and no ambition

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Registered: 01-13-2010
no drive and no ambition
50
Sat, 03-31-2012 - 8:03am

Hello.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 6:18pm

Startingover,

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 6:37pm

dr told me that our kids are behind about 3 yrs emotionally than most kids

Just wanted to say, this is one of the strategies that has helped me deal with my now DS17 (18 this sept) - to remind myself and my DH (stepdad and first strong male role model) that he is anywhere from 1-3 yrs behind, maturity level in some ways - meaning that in certain situations - of course deciding which ones is the hard part - we cannot treat him like his chronological age. Really tricky at this age and probably at any age, especially nearing legal adulthood because of course they want to be treated as their chronolgical age and in some cases you can, but in others you can't. Just one

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

Avatar for sabrtooth
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Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 8:05pm

People get this wrong all the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 9:34pm
Fantastic articles, sabr, thank you so much for posting. I just quickly read these and am going to print them off and bookmark them to refer to them more often. Especially as we are heading for the top of the rollercoaster - the ADDer teen as an 18yo senior next school year! The articles are SO on target with what I am dealing with. Many of the tactics in the first one, I was able to say we are doing - or have done. These are must reads for anyone with ADD/ADHD teens. Thanks again!

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

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Registered: 01-13-2010
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 9:43pm

Nice to hear from you again, Mom.

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Registered: 01-13-2010
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 9:57pm

Oh...I just read the part about not having raised a boy and you ARE correct.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 11:05pm

I definitely understand how you aren't used to boys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 11:08pm
Yes I can see how that would be really difficult and add to the other issues, the fact that dh has all boys, you have all girls, added to the differences in the way they were raised, definately just adds to your problems in my opinion. Even though my DD is still young, I forsee us being able to talk about girly things and like you say just have more in common which will help keep the relationship going, but with both my sons, I also feel like I have nothing in common with them and I know thats what they feel about me, and it adds to the problems I already have with them and our relationship. I suppose tho its just natural to have more in common with your same sex adult children and in your case step children. And yes you are probably right that in their self centeredness they do not like your decisions since the divorce. But I think that in time and with maturity, they will get over it and hopefully you putting your foot down/boundries will help that along, fingers crossed huh!
Hey, I have something to ask you off the board, and i have not been able to get the private message thing to work here. Can you email me mum_wendy2007 at yahoo, Note the mum not mom - thats the uk in me!lol

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

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Registered: 01-13-2010
Thu, 04-05-2012 - 7:57am

Thanks for the support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-05-2012 - 11:09am

It's hard to say about the college thing--hey now you can try the Parents of College Students board too.