Non confrontational ways...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Non confrontational ways...
14
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 4:50pm
To help DD to get up in the AM. Other than throwing water in face, yelling etc. Can you offer any advice that has worked well for you. I try to wake her up with plenty of time to spare, but she always puts getting up till the last possible minute, ending up racing out of the house trying to beat the clock. What can I do? I am really getting tired of holding a 2-3 round argument just to get her to get up and ready for school. She insists that she is trying but I just don't see it!

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Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 5:41pm
How about YOU setting up a second alarm clock across the room. That way she has to get up to turn it off.
Deb
Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 6:16pm
Wouldn't work, DD could sleep through a symphony concert held 1 foot from her. I would sooner annoy the neighbors than wake her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 8:25pm

What would happen if you did less rather than more? If you wake her up (and maybe periodically remind her of the time passing or don't let her fall back to sleep), but don't get into a fight. Whether or not it's a confrontation rests in how you react to it. If she's getting out of the house "on time", that may be good enough by her standards. The consequences for not getting up on time are on her, not on you.

I remember when I was in HS (many, many years ago LOL). When my dad was able to drive me to school, I took my sweet time getting dressed and always "missed" the school bus. When his schedule changed, I had to catch the bus or walk to school. Quickly I figured out what had to be done!

Also, there's been some discussion here about how much sleep our teens get. Does your DD need to go to bed earlier? This might be a good time to have a discussion with her about her taking responsibility for her own sleep/wake cycle.

I'm lucky in that my DD14 hates rushing in the morning, so she gets up very early AND she hates being tired all day so she's usually in bed relatively early. We had fights about this in elementary school, but since I've made it clear that it's up to her how much time she has in the morning, the confrontations have disappeared.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 8:37pm

I got lucky on the morning wars, my kids get up fairly easily if they're getting enough sleep.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 8:56pm
Send her to bed an hour earlier at night. Tell her she's obviously too tired to cope with the amount of sleep she's getting (partially true). Tell her she can set her bedtime back where she likes it when she demonstrates the maturity to get up and go in a timely manner just like everyone else has to. She has to be ontime everytime for 10d in a row. Good luck. Betty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 7:17am

Good luck to you!

Avatar for audreyoka
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 9:55am

Do your teenagers use the computer? I too used to battle over getting up in the morning. I don't fight with her anymore. I will wake her one time, 15 minutes before we leave. If she doesn't go to school, there is no computer for the rest of the day and possibly the next day.

The no computer works like nothing else. She is not always happy that she only has 15 minutes to get ready, but she does it because she does not want to be cut off from friends on the computer after school.

Audrey :)
http://www.scrapping-made-simple.com

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 10:13am

Well, our solution really would depend on how old she is I think...

Our now 16dd always had a problem getting up in time to make the bus. We'd wake her up with plenty of time, bought her all different types of alarm clocks, tried setting them across the room - she'd sleep right through it. We tried blasting her stereo, everything you can think of, even allowing her to sleep too late, miss school and suffer the consequences from her teachers.

What finally helped was setting up a rewards program. For each day she made it up in time to wolf down some food and catch the bus, she'd earn a dollar, potentially $5/week - on top of her allowance. That helped.

Ultimately, lol, what worked for our dd is switching her school. It's been a year and she has hardly missed any time at all, she even wants to go in when she's not well. She is up and at 'em by 6AM and out the door to the bus by 6:15, no exceptions. I mean, she loves her school and wants to be there. That's made the best difference.

If you're averse to finding a school she likes better (I'm just kidding here), how about try a rewards type of program instead. It's like we tricked her...instead of punishing her for NOT getting up, we rewarded her FOR getting up on time.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 10:22am

For what it's worth, I am NOT a morning person either. I know *exactly* how long it takes me to get from the bed to the door and I don't do anything besides getting ready to go (or handle the morning drop off run if it's my morning).

Is it ideal? No way. Have I tried to change my habits? Millions of times. When I have to get up earlier for something specific I can, but the normal daily grind--nope. Sleep til the last minute.

The way I compensate for it, and maybe this will work for your DD, is to make sure I have everything ready for the morning the night before. My purse, briefcase, etc. are in their place ready to pick up (or if it's something out of the ordinary that I need to remember I put it in the car so I don't forget). The next night's dinner components are thawing or thought out. I've figured out what I'm going to wear...

If you're a fan of FlyLady you'll recognize that as a bedtime routine and it works for me. Maybe your DD doesn't have a realistic picture of how long it takes her to get ready to go. Time it for her a few days when she's not rushed and she'll know that she can roll out of bed at 6:16 and still be ready to leave at 7:05 or whatever. Then she can set her clock for 5:58 and still have time for 2 snoozes.

Just thinking out loud because I can kind of identify...
Good luck~
Dani

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 10:26am

Difficult but common problem because teenager's daily cycles are different from adults and younger children. Research has shown that their brain efficiency peaks latter on in the day and they would all do better in school, if it started much latter (11am,for example).
These kids are tired since their daily schedules don't watch their internal biological clocks.

Unfortunately, school and work don't take this into account and kids have to get up.
If the kid is having trouble getting up, their bodies are telling them they need more sleep. They might not think they need less but our bodies are programmed to need 9 hours a day to allow for optimun performance and health.

Suggestions..

(1) Encourage her to have a nap after school or after supper so she can work off her "what she owes to the sleep bank". Doesn't have to be long but it will help.

(2) On weekends, allow her to sleep in.

(3) Encourage her to take a "brain rest" before she goes to bed each night for at least 30 minutes. Something to take her mind off what happened during the day so that when she gets into bed, she will have no problems falling asleep. No coffee or tea or pop before bed.

(4) Audit her bedroom to make sure it is "sleep good". Remove the temptations (ie. TVs or computers). Check that the air flow in the room is good;her mattress is firm enough. You might want to verify that she doesn't have an allergy to dust mites. Poor sleep/overly tiredness is one sympton of this allergy and mild asthma (happened to my DD).

Good Luck

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