Is this normal for girls or stalking?
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Is this normal for girls or stalking?
| Fri, 02-09-2007 - 2:07am |
I recently was reviewing the phone usage/billing for my 7th grade son's cell phone and discovered a LOT of phone calls from this one 13 year old girl in his class. I wouldn't have thought too much of it, but there were calls out the wazooo. I mean, sometiems the calls were just a few seconds apart over the space of an hour or more. Sometimes they were really late at night (10.00, 11.30 or as late as 1 AM). My son's usually in bed by 9.00 or so!
This girl has a boyfriend (actually, she has "dated" a great many of the boys in our school since she was in lower elementary). I've overheard my son/his friends comment that she was the most popular girl in school. Not sure if that is true, but they thing so. Anyway, I'm not saying there is anything untoward going on, but it raised my hackles seeing so many phone calls in so little time to my son.
She calls and leaves mssages. She calls to chat. She calls after school (when I'm not home and he's supposed to be doing homework). She calls late at night. She called tonight when she knew he would be at a school-sponsored activity (she did not attend. Even odder, I've caught my son fibbing about getting calls from her (wrong number or "I forgot), which I also find makes me uncomfortable on some level.
Is this normal for girls now? To call so much and so late? Is it normal to call a guy firend who is NOT your boyfriend?
This is really bugging me.
K
This girl has a boyfriend (actually, she has "dated" a great many of the boys in our school since she was in lower elementary). I've overheard my son/his friends comment that she was the most popular girl in school. Not sure if that is true, but they thing so. Anyway, I'm not saying there is anything untoward going on, but it raised my hackles seeing so many phone calls in so little time to my son.
She calls and leaves mssages. She calls to chat. She calls after school (when I'm not home and he's supposed to be doing homework). She calls late at night. She called tonight when she knew he would be at a school-sponsored activity (she did not attend. Even odder, I've caught my son fibbing about getting calls from her (wrong number or "I forgot), which I also find makes me uncomfortable on some level.
Is this normal for girls now? To call so much and so late? Is it normal to call a guy firend who is NOT your boyfriend?
This is really bugging me.
K

Well, karen, it's not exactly "normal" but it's not unusual at that age either. The girl might have a b/f, but that doesn't mean that she's not looking to find a new one... yeah, I know, not the way we did it, but this is a new generation. If this girl has dated "many" boys over the course of their school years, saying she's "popular" might be guy-speak for "easy." My guys called it "friendly" - and it wasn't exactly a compliment.
Hang in there, keep your eyes open... hopefully she'll find a different interest next week.
Rose
Late night calls and text messaging are common enough that confiscating phones for the night comes up fairly often on the board. He turns it in at bedtime and it's on the breakfast table for him in the AM.
I don't know if she's looking for another BF or not but,in case you haven't talked seriously about sex, birth control, and self control, you need to. And, even if you have, it may be time for a review.
You dont have to relate the talk to the calls-just say you read something on an internet message board and....
Many, many a conversation has been started with my boys that way.
My son is only in 5th grade and suddenly he can spend hours on the phone w/ girls. He has a "girlfriend" of one month, Ashley and he talks to her, but he also talks to Alyssa, who is the one who kind of fixed him up w/ Ashley and he also talks to Katie. I think last night he was doing 3-way calling and talking to Alyssa and Katie at the same time because the student council is having a pizza party after school today (which is 1/2 day) and Katie's mother is driving them home and he was trying to arrange the whole thing. It's not like in my day when girls wouldn't call boys, which I actually think is good. For some reason, even since kindergarten, my DS has always had girls as friends, maybe because he's a quieter kid who likes reading, not so much into sports. He does have some boys as friends now too.
I wouldn't worry about it too much, although I would put limits on people (not just girls) not calling after a certain time at night.